Those of you may recognise the lyric above from Warren Zevon's 1978 hit, 'Werewolves of London' will note that we replaced the word beef with Wham-Bar.

Now, you're probably thinking to yourself, hey,, are you OK? Are you smelling burnt toast or something? Can you feel the side of your face? No, we're not having an aneurysm but, really, it felt like we were when we first found about this.

A restaurant in Derry is offering - by popular demand, they claim - a new dish that sees the traditional Chow Mein noodles mixed with sticky sweet Wham-Bar pieces. By the way, today's date is March 9th and not April 1st, in case you were wondering.

What goes through someone's mind when they think this stuff up? You know how some people look at authors like Stephen King and they read some of the utterly messed-up shit he comes out with, you think to yourself, "He's got to be just completely twisted," and they're actually very normal, boring people.

Is that what it's like with this? You're creating something so horrendously f*cked-up, but you - the creator of this abomination unto the world - are completely normal in every conceivable way?

Let's be clear - anyone who orders this and eats, and then enjoys it without a shred of irony or awareness of how f*cked up it is needs to take a long, severe look at themselves in the mirror. Do you realise that by you buying and consuming it, you're bringing evil into this world? You're encouraging people to do this kind of stunt.

Sure, we might be writing about it, but we're by no means encouraging any of it. Far from it, we're taking an editorial stance and branding this as deranged and evil, and deserves to be fired into the surface of the sun where it can never harm anyone ever again.

Awful carry-on.