The brain's been humming the Beach Boys' In My Room manically since the peepers scraped open this morning. I might encounter the shower today… then set about burning this mattress. Seriously need to need the leave the bedroom as I've started watching the Celebrity Big Brother live stream… They're currently moaning about having nothing to do now that their task (which I think they failed) is over. Their task was, of course, celebrity themed, with Big Brother asking the following people to pair up to undertake something inane:
Celebrity Couple - Ben and Michelle: Well, that was a total no-brainer. I'd say Hugh's taking it all in his stride. They concocted a whole story about themselves loathing each other but I can't be arsed regaling it. Paparazzi - Coolio, Lucy and Tina: The trio had to stake out a wall in the garden for 24 hours in case some famous people popped up in a cherrypicker. Poor Lucy. Coolio wouldn't shut the f*** up about being "Mr. Jeffrey Franklin Rosavelt Bodaaang!", while Tina camped out in the ashtray. Then, the one time Lucy wasn't there, Tina and Coolio missed Michael Barrymore waving like Mussolini over the wall. They were both busy staring up their own hoops at the time. Celebrity Cult - Mutya and Terry. The object of their obsession - 80's heartthrob Chesney 'The Mole' Hawkes. They had to learn the answers to such questions as "what would Chesney rater eat than brown ice?" ('brown rice' would make more sense but I swear Terry said 'Ice'… meds) and speed out to the garden whenever The One And Only got played to chant "Chest, knees, hawk!" repeatedly, in front of a shrine, for an undetermined amount of time. Celebrity Reality Show - Tommy and LaToya: They had to learn a dance routine. Coolio was right; "the big guy ain't got no rhythm." Celebrity Duet - Ulrika and Verne: They undertook the task of covering Diana Ross and Lionel Richie's My Endless Love - which saw Ulrika lying on a stage, wrapped in an extravagant valance topped with a Cher wig circa If I Could Turn Back Time, while Verne sat beside her like a miniature hybrid of Prince by way of Phil Lynott.
The only other thing perhaps worth keeping an eye on is Verne and Terry. The former mentioned last night (when Ulrika let him get a word in) that he would be interested in "changing the table on him a little bit. Like do things behind his back." The response from his fellow housemates was less than enthused.
Last Night's Highlights: Ulrika saying to Terry: "Oh I just called you by my husband’s name! You're nothing like him, he's a dooer"... Coolio banging on about always needing a girlfriend to LaToya while staring (what he believed to be) longingly into her eyes, only to be met with the response of "Aren't you scared of diseases?"… Michael Barrymore wailing: "C'mon, I've not been off the telly that long!" while the cherrypicker disappeared behind the wall unnoticed… Terry and Mutya having to continue chanting "chest, knees, hawk!" as Chesney Hawks rose above the wall… Tina bellowing: "Who is it? Michelle who?! Is she famous?!" when it was Michelle Marsh's turn to hover over the wall… The sheer determination on Verne's face when rehearsing My Endless Love on his todd in the bedroom… Lucy informing Coolio that he's the most irritating person she's ever met. Last Night's Lowlights: Tina informing Chesney Hawkes (three times) that she'd just "pissed" herself. What we can expect tonight: Someone getting evicted. According to Ulrika, she has a "gut feeling" it'll be Lucy going, and told the NUTS model as much about two minutes ago.