Lordy, people are clearly devoid of perspective nowadays. Universally, anyone who deploys a death threat is an idiot, but to issue one due to a reality TV show - well, frankly, the purveyor deserves to be taken out themselves.

By way of a recap: Cheryl, of the wibbling lips and the leaking eyes, decided she couldn't take Gamu "any further in the competition." Now, it couldn't be due to a lack of talent, as she reportedly has that in spades (I've been trying not to watch it for personal reason, which I'll have to put to one side now that Alicia's orf on her holliers), so "Cheryl's decision" was very possibly due to either the market being saturated with talented women of colour, or outstanding visa issues.

As it turns out, Gamu and her family must now voluntarily go back to Zimbabwe or face deportation, as her mother's been claiming benefits on the QT: "Nokutula Ngazana, 38, is said to have claimed child tax credit and working tax credit during her eight-year stay in the UK, even though her visa conditions prohibited her from having access to state handouts. Nhengu - who was applying to remain in the UK after her family's right to stay expired in August - must now leave Britain of her own accord, along with her mother and her two brothers, or face deportation." Fun times.

Anyway, all this has now led to Cheryl getting morbid messages about being a racist and what not. Here's a message from one demented:

"I've never felt like dis over xfactor until u told gambu (yep, this person is so behind Gamu they've gone to the trouble of spelling her name wrong) she is not going to the live show. Dat cheryl was da biggest mistake of your life. U want to act innocent on tv like you don't know wat ur doing. But we all know how racist you are. Wat u have now done is f*** up every white girls lives (not at all racist yourself, there) who's silly mothers dat named der child cheryl. Cuz I'm just going to f***** bang drop dem and dey won't even know why... You are a hater. You can't sing 2 save your life. So to make urself happy you want to get rid off all the good singers you know will make you look s***. Nobody wants to buy ur album."
Said lunatic (from Tottenham) then goes on to say Cheryl should be "punched until she bleeds." Why, that's just delightful.

As it turns out, a few other people have set up FaceBook pages, one of which is entitled: "cheryl cole to die a painful death for being a T**t and blasted into space". Assuming further explanation was required, the muppet who set up the page went on to say the page was for "ppl who want to kill cheryl cole for being a great big t*** and making painful music that ppl want to shoot themselves to."

Is it wrong that I'm laughing? It's just all so sad that I can't help laughing. Don't get me wrong, I've received the odd death threat (bizarre but true), and it's never the most welcomed start to a day, but these people - if they in fact exist - are simply just deprived of attention. They're probably chuffed to smithereens now that they've been referenced, so job done.

Regarding my "if they in fact exist" comment... for some reason, the image of Simon Cowell hunched over a gold plated laptop, cackling intermittently, while padding furiously on the keyboard, mumbling "this is PR gold, I am the one true overlord, where is MY KNIGHTHOOD!" keeps flashing across my brain. Although, realistically, he would be dictating the ill-written death threats to a Sinitta, while an equally scantily clad Jackie St. Claire fans him with bank notes, when she's not doubling up as a human footstool.

Wild notions aside, he is a man responsible for corrupting a generation into believing it's OK to have every aspect of your life hijacked, and invariably turned sideways, for the purpose of Saturday night telly. Now that's sinister.

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