Everyone has a price. Cheryl Cole's is the following:

1) "A lavish new family home so they can quit the Surrey mansion they shared when he cheated on her (repeatedly). A hi-tech recording studio designed to the Girls Aloud singer's specifications."
2) "A pad in Los Angeles which they can use as a bolthole to escape the public eye - and from which she can continue trying to crack America." Yep, she's that delusional.
3) "A top secret wedding ceremony abroad (what, no deal with OK! this time round?) - plus a no-expense-spared dream honeymoon."
4) "The conditions are on top of buying her a ring that The Sun revealed yesterday must outshine the two she has previously ditched over his affairs. They cost £150,000 and £160,000."

And proved that no amount of money in the world can purchase taste.Christ, any bloke that has to buy you three engagement rings cause he keeps doing the dirt is the very definition of a lost cause.

On the upside for Ashley, it doesn't look like Cheryl's mum, Joan, will be moving back in, what with "a source" offering: "She said Cheryl would end up on Jeremy Kyle if she gets back with him."

I'm orf down to Paddy Power to throw a tenner on their first dance (second time round) option - a bossanova version of The Beatle's Can't Buy Me Love.