Yeah, so The Sun are now taking reams of text to convey what I said yesterday *shines nails*. I won't force you to wade through a barrage of words about whether Simon told her in person or not, and how it's not her accent at all, here's the crux of it - and it comes from Cheryl's Ma, Joan:

"Cheryl has been paid off to come back to the UK to sort out the show. Simon told her Tulisa just wasn't strong enough. The deal is she will be seen as the head judge, even above Gary Barlow." Louis will be thrilled by that proclamation, you know, considering he's been there since time began.

Of Cole returning to the UK X Factor, Another "pal" of Cheryl's said: "She is hurt but has agreed to come back. She doesn't want her British fans to think she would desert them." Um, bit late for that, surely.

As it happens, The Sun conducted a poll yesterday asking their readers if they'd be happy with Cheryl returning to the UK show... 62% said 'Nay.'