OK, I've no idea who Nicola T nominated (some thorough research has since shown she chose Sisqo for being patronising, and Kat for not doing much about the house as she's too caught up in Jonas) as I was squinting at Your Bad Self, which made its series debut on RTE2 last night (presumably the canned laughter is a necessity. You know, for the benefit for anyone involved in the production watching at home), for a whole ten minutes before I realised it was subpar formulaic cog off Man Stroke Woman, which wasn't funny to begin with back in 2005, and absentmindedly switched channels to see Sov sitting in the Diary Room saying:

"... waiting on her hand and foot. " So she either meant Stephanie or Heidi (turns out it was Heidi).
Her second nomination was for Alex: "He never tries to talk to me." She went on a bit more, but it was Kevin The Teenager inspired moaning that's not worth repeating, let alone broadcast.

Katia was next, and she first nominated Nicola for "acting like she was thicker than she was when she first entered the house." She then said she reminded her of "the type of girl that would have bullied me in school. All pristine..."
Her second nomination was for Stephanie: "Me, Sov, and Jonas, we can't talk about stupid things (like flatulence ad nauseum)... She gives snobby looks... She's a bit of a fusspot."

Heidi: "Mine are really mean. OK, Sov. She's got two extra teeth. They're creepy and it makes me want to throw up." She also didn't appreciate Sov and Katia's farting talk: "They look like stupid kids."
Her second nomination was Stephanie: "She's obnoxious. She passes judgement, very snobby... No one is up to her standards."

Stephanie: "Jonas... He is just all about the anal (oooh er)" and has "too much interest in what he calls farting and sh*tting... he seems intent on shocking."
Her second nomination went to Katia: She is a beautiful orchid with no roots of her own, a taker... They could have courted in the summer house instead of sharing a bed in the bedroom (and keeping them all awake with kissy/fumbly noises *shudders*)

Sisqo nominated Heidi: "I didn't know we were coming in here to sleep all day... She's done the least housework."
His second nomination was for Dane: His personality in this house is too melancholy... within this house he seems too neutral (that's code for boring).

Jonas: Heidi, she's just slept all week... future tasks will be compromised as a result."
His second nomination went to Sisqo: "He keeps talking about his multimillion dollar selling album... I'm a bit tired of his show off. It's getting a little bit boring."

Dane: Katia, she doesn't get involved. She hasn't done any cleaning or cooking, she just seems to exist in her own bubble. She has her team and doesn't make a massive effort with others... it's not as if she's not used to hanging around with older people."
His remaining nomination went to Stephen: "I respect his viewpoints, but he pushes it on to people too aggressively."

Alex: "Heidi. She's not getting involved... She keeps warning that she's a bitch and that the gremlins are going to come out."
His second nomination went to Sov: "She seems unhappy and that isn't bringing harmony... she went mad about having to wear the dress... I had to wear a mankini mate."

Vinnie: "Heidi. I've looked after her but if I have to wait on her further you're going to need to give me rollerskates."
His second nomination was for Stephen: "He's lovely but too loud on the old earlobe. You know, you need some space, you find a corner, and then here comes Stephen."

Stephen: "Sov. I don't see her participating in chores."
His second nomination was for Jonas: "He has done nothing in this house apart from build a snowman." He also did Kat, Stephen.

Heidi got 5 nominations, while Kat and Sov got 3 each. All three housemates will face the public vote and two will be evicted on Friday. Vinnie was the only housemate not to receive one nomination. Ivana wasn't allowed nominate or be nominated as she's new.

The other news of the night was The Break Up. It started with Kat lying on his Jonas's bed, telling him he was too clingy, and she was just warning him. He jovially said, "Ok, get off my bed then" before getting dressed in his best, which made her cringe. I could go on, but I'm boring myself at this stage. I do feel compelled to point out, however, that mid-breakup, Kat yawned "I really care about someone and it's not worth it" in his face. 'Cause she's just that kewl and nonplussed 'n such. Alcohol abuse must have really shrank Ronnie Wood's brain if he's withstood some level of conversation with her for eighteen months.

Jonas didn't say much, he chose instead to open up to Alex, saying: "Isn't it funny how some people make mistakes, they know they are, but they do it anyway and then they want it undone?" Alex, not being the brightest bulb in the solarium, said: "Are you talking about Kat?" to which Alex quipped: "Yes, she's pregnant." They laughed. Then they got naked together and bound about the garden, before pressing their bottoms against the window, much to the excitement of Ivana Trump: "Zey ar definitely going to show itz all!!" That was the plan, but they both backed off the idea given the cold... especially since Dane was shouting "He's still got room in his hand!" He could have been talking about either one of them, but we'll stab about wildly and guess he was directing his comment to Alex.

Lastly, Heidi and a couple of others (but it was mainly Heidi) were pulled up on discussing nominations, so the housemates got their food taken away as a result (Dane was the first to notice). The sight of chickpeas, rice and beans threw Vinnie into a rage, largely due to the lentil soakage time: "Twelve hours! Twelve hours they need soaking for, they need throwing over the wall." He then took to the bed, probably to dream of all the meals he'd prepared for Heidi that day.

A fight then broke out between Nicola and Stephen, as the latter gave the former a ticking off for discussing nominations, and having a "selective memory" regarding the incident... or something... Sorry, I just don't remember. It's not that it's "selective", or anything, it's just 'cause I've the memory of a goldfish - when it comes to things that are of ABSOLUTELY NO IMPORTANCE. Nic, on the other hand went to the Diary Room for clarification. Big Brother said she did not break the rules, which elicited this response: "He'll try and tell me I was wrong. Knob." And, d'you know what, he did. She marched into the kitchen and said "I wanted to make sur - clarify so I went to Big Brother and they said I didn't break the rules. I think you should apologise to me." And, when Stephen responded with: "They're lying to you. Big Brother is lying to you... If you feel like you'd like to apologise..." Nic partially caved, replying: "Oh did they? Well, I can't f***ing remember! Can you apologise for saying I have a selective memory?" But he couldn't even do that, instead saying: "It was a joke."

A bit like yerself, Baldwin.