There were a number of surprises during last night's "speed nominations" after the reincarnation of Kevin The Teenager became a self-fulfilling prophecy of "nobody likes me, no one takes meee seriousleeeey, no one listens to me, stop patroniiiiiizing meeee, let's have a butchers at this then, peoplezzzzz" FINALLY got the boot. Slave to the vibe my arse, if she were she wouldn't be such a slave to her freakishly persistent and wholly antisocial pubescent hormones.
The likes of Ivana, Stephen, and Sisqo voted nigh exactly the same way as they did on Sunday's episode, almost to the word, but Beacham , Sisqo and Alex provided some shockers. To recap, the housemates had to nominate two people they wanted to evict, but they only had thirty seconds to inform as to why.
Here is a handy breakdown of who nominated who:
Alex nominated Sisqo ("We've got to get the American's out. This is a UK show, so let's get Sisqo out for a start") and Jordan's other ex-boyfriend ("Dane Bowers is my second biggest threat, so he also needs to go... he's too nice.") So clunky was the delivery it was infuriating and almost endearing in tandem. He's like a tanned Labrador puppy on 'roids that keeps running into a double glazed window.
Dane nominated Ivana ("She's a team player and she does try hard but she's constantly worried about things") and, in one of the funniest and perfectly timed nominations of the night, Stephen ("Half of my life is waiting for him to finish a sentence. It really drags on. It takes ages for him to finish........... everything he says")
Ivana nominated Jonas ("for his behaviour which caused serious offence by running around the house naked," again, like Alex) and Stephen for ("breaking the rules on talking about the nominations of other housemates")
Jonas nominated Ivana ("She spends too much time in the toilet and she's a weak link in the tasks") and Sisqo, again ("He is showing off too much. It makes me feel uncomfortable. He's not helping in the house and he keeps going on about all his achievements")
Nicola, in the quickest nomination of the night, went for Stephen ("is really annoying and driving everyone up the wall") and Ivana ("faffs around a lot).
Sisqo nominated Ivana, or as he so eloquently put it on Sunday, "bag of liver spots" ("I'm tired of her bossing me around... She favours Alex") and, get this, he also nominated the Reidenator for this reason : "I'm tired of seeing Alex bully Stephen and Jonas." Eh, has anyone seen that happen? If anything, Stephen is stalking Alex, constantly whispering in his face that "the Looooord is trying to communicate" with him and offering him all over body massages.
Stephanie nominated Stephen ("He's in all camps, playing games") and - shocker of all shockers - her bosom buddie in there, Ivana ("I nominate Ivana, because I think she needs to be released from her misery"). OK, so she made it sound like a favour, but it doesn't look like Ivana is in any rush to go. This saddens me a little. Does the two-faced backstabbing of school never end? I thought you were different, Beacham. I thought you were a shining example of female comradery. Instead it looks as if she wants to be the final female in the house, what with the humanised kat, the perrenial teen and American Dad's Roger in a wig all being shown the door.
Stephen, as usual, nominated Nicola ("Hi everyone, I'm Stevie B and my first nomination is Nicola T. Everyone probably thinks she's a cute mom, but she's really cunning behind the scenes - THAT's why it only took her 15 seconds to nominate two people") and Dane ("I really don't think he's that kind or compassionate. He didn't handle the Sov situation very well)
Lastly, Vinnie - who wasn't nominated by one soul once again, nominated Sisqo ("I feel he didn't help the group out with the problem of Sov, and he's trying to win it by keeping different camps") and Alex ("his snoring is driving me mad, and everyone else, and he's eating three times as much as the rest").
The housemates who got the most nominations are Ivana with five, Stephen with four and Sisqo with three. The reason Sisqo is in there is because there's to be a double eviction on Friday. Considering Ladbrokes are giving the latter odds of third favourite to win, clearly Stephen and Ivana will be given their marching orders.
If you're a betting breed, it might be of interest to learn that Alex is the "surprise second" to win with odds of 6/1, while you won't be bowled over to hear that Vinnie is odds on favourite to come win.
Last Night's Highlights: Big Brother, "on a whim", dousing all participating housemates with fish guts once Sisqo's woeful singing challenge came to an end... Stephen saying to Jonas in his tight white pants: "there is a definition to what you're expressing, and I'm wondering why"... Last Night's Lowlights: Stephanie nominating Ivana... Having to watch Sov saying "suck my t*tt*es" and grab the aforementioned subject matter again... What We Can Expect Tonight: F*ck knows.