We all have that one neighbour who hands over a box of Afternoon Tea biscuits to us every Christmas, and they duly get eaten as we slowly but surely meld to become one with the couch after another giant feed.
Everyone has their favourite from the box that there's a big rush on, and in many houses around Ireland, that is the jelly star biscuit: covered in chocolate and featuring a sweet jelly on top, it's like two treats in one, and crams as much of the bad stuff inside your already polluted body at one time as physically possible...unless you deep fry it.
Well, we hope you didn't have any plans for Christmas because you'll have to cancel them all and Christmas itself after the news that Jacobs have decided to remove it from the collection this year. Hearts will break, doctors will rejoice, families will fall apart. It will be replaced by this:
This...this.... is the imposter replacing the #jellystar biscuit In the afternoon tea! #biscuitGate pic.twitter.com/ZcqSIxiLqV
— WILL HANAFIN (@willhanafin) November 19, 2014
What is that? It's not even a full biscuit, it's got holes in it. We don't know who's responsible for this, but we're sure those banana-straighteners in the EU have something to do with it. The nation can stand anymore, and they're close to rioting, we tell you.
Right. We've had enough of this constant change! Tweet @Jacobs_IRL to save the jelly biscuits! #justice4jelly pic.twitter.com/ZZ91DDB4LH
— 96fm Opinion Line (@OpinionLine96) November 19, 2014
Whoa whoa whoa! What's this witchery about Jacob's removing the jelly star biscuit? Calls for a protest! pic.twitter.com/ioVUaPXSKW
— Sue-Ellen Carroll (@SueellenCarroll) November 18, 2014
Forget #IrishWater, the government needs to intervene in the #Justice4Jelly @Jacobs_IRL fiasco! #JellyStarGate
— Dave McGinn (@davemcginn_ie) November 19, 2014
#justice4jelly @Jacobs_IRE bring back jelly star lads #yumyum make it a happy Christmas for us Biscuit lovers . pic.twitter.com/EOO7cW6VUe
— KEN TOBIN (@KENNYT96) November 19, 2014
In shock that jelly stars are no more, what is wrong with the world.
— Stephen Broekhuizen (@jsbroekhuizen) November 19, 2014
Jacobs are yet to respond the mass public outrage this has caused, and reports that there will be a big black market trade in illegally sourced jelly stars are as yet unconfirmed, but we'll update you when we know more.
Via Today FM