Bruno (who actually appeared as Sacha Baron Cohen on Letterman last night), has been so kind as to cast his eye over the threads housing our local celebrities. The following comes courtesy of The Irish Daily Star:
Michelle Heaton: "Zis woman is taking ze theft of her blouse remarkably vell. Particularly as she has left wearing ein tragedy of en mammarian hammock. She vould never cut it on ze catvalk vhere any breasts large zhan en small boy's are deemed excessive."
Rosanna Davison: "Zis is more like it. Understated, subtle, naturlische, looks completely untouched by ze hand of ze stylist. All ze things are uberrated. Ich love it. Particularly se hole for ze schvantzenstucke to save zis tray se humiliation of showing his muscly legs at ze urinal."
Ronan Keating: "From ze guilty look on zis bearded tramp's face ich thinks he has stolen zis suit off ein much smaller man. Is zere ein angry naked Tom Cruise just aus of shot? It certainly vouldn't be the first time Tom had stripped off und chased ein homeless person around."
Brian Cowen: "Mein Gott your scarecrows are badly dressed! Und vas ein face! No wonder zis field is devoid of wildlife. Sill zis is ze best use for zat suit, short of tearing into small pieces and swallowing zhem to stave off se hunger pants - or using it to mop up labrapoodle schiesse."
Caroline Morahan: "Mick Hucknall is looking fabulous zeese days. It takes ein real man to vear ein sarong. Und he should get extra points for being all environmentalische und credit crunch-tastiche – recycling his grandmutti's lounge carpet into zis. Money's too tight to mention vor ein lot of us zeese days but Mick has shown us zat it doesn't have to be game uber for glamour."
Bruno also had ein thing or zwei to say about the Xpose Girls and the Seoige Sisters, but I couldn't snout out those pics so you'll have to rifle through a copy of The Star in your local newsagents, before they kick you out for loitering.
In additional Bruno news, Emil Brix, the Austrian minister for culture, is calling for Austrians to boycott the film given its references to Hitler: "It's totally inappropriate. Everybody should speak up against that." Then, when talking about films from Austrian directors such as Michael Haneke, Brix said: "Films by directors like these really deal with Austria." Haneke has previously directed a film called Funny Games - "where two psychotics lock a family in a cabin and make them sadistically attack each other."
