I'm beginning to think Twitter is a scourge *ducks* - mostly due to the influx of gossip stories centered solely around what celebrities have "Tweeted". No doubt if I were a member such tales would be infinitely fascinating, especially if could get the following messages from Peaches Geldof, regarding Philip Schofield, straight to my phone!

"Had a dream last night that Schofe was Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic and I was Kate Winslet.. it was amazing. Schofe I'm flying!!!" After innumerable tweets, Philip replied with "You're bonkers, but v sweet", which incurred this response: "Schofe Tweeted me again! And he said I was sweet! Make-up man Michael is doing my face right now. Due to lack of sleep over Schofe I look exhausted right now. Damn you Schofe! Wondering what Schofe is doing - hopefully he is thinking about me xxxxx."

Yeeaahh. It's bad enough having to read this drivel in The Mirror... although I wouldn't mind being treated to a picture of Demi Moore's hoop in the surroundings of what appears to be a beach hut (yep, we're sloooowly progressing towards the relevancy of this segment's title). Seemingly avid tweeter Ashton Kutcher (well, he's not got a lot else on, does he) decided to post a snap of his wife bending over in a white bikini while she was tending to his presumed wedding attire: "Watching my wife steam my suit while wearing a bikini. I love God!... I'm not wearing the bikini she is that's what makes it so glorious... shhh don't tell wifey twitpic.com/2bj58". Don't worry, Ashton, your secret is safe with the millions of hinterwatch users out there. And we're sure "wifey" won't mind you showcasing how hot she is on the eve of her ex-husband's wedding to a model nearly half his age.

Rumour has it that Demi and Ashton were invited to the wedding of Bruce Willis and his year-long girlfriend Emma Hemming, which reportedly took place this weekend in an island ceremony in the Caribbean. A source said: "The 30-year-old, raised in north London and California, has modelled for lingerie brand La Senza and made a handful of acting appearances. The couple's wedding ceremony took place at the Die Hard star's house on the private island Parrot Cay, according to US Weekly. Willis' spokesman told the magazine: "The couple will be having a civil ceremony when they return to California'."

It's refreshing to see exes on such close terms. Although Demi and Bruce might start giving each other a wide berth given their respective spouses would make a more age appropriate couple.