It's Day Four of 'Must Keep Britney In The News' week. Why, she has just released another album. Didn't. You. Know. ?
This morning, the legions of people who work in The Sun have been busy collating facts, and have come to the same startling realisation most of the world jumped to about four years ago - Britney's brain is a bit on the wobbly side. This is what the herd of different sources said:
"She's very fragile. Up until a few months ago she was still heavily medicated and popping up to ten pills a day. It's like she has to be wheeled from one place to another. She can't be trusted to do anything on her own. Whether she is performing or recording it's the same. Sometimes she's like a zombie. Her mood swings are unreal too. It is four years since she famously cut off all her hair and hit rock bottom. But as recently as last year she was still pulling the same stunt - hacking her hair off with scissors when she wanted attention from her staff and loved ones at home."
Of the excessive airbrushing of her promotional photos, the source added: "She has lost a lot of weight for her comeback but then releasing pictures like those take any deserved credit away because they are so far removed from what she really looks like. And it's not just the pictures - it's like they are airbrushing her whole life."
Of her performance in San Francisco, Billboard Charts associate director Keith Caulfield said: "You expect her to dance ferociously because when you're lip syncing, we expect you to dance." While a San Francisco paper "blasted" her "awkward dance moves" and "dead-eyed stare... She strutted robotically, her gaze never straying to the audience." As has been the case since 2008...
Britney has also been pulling out fo appearances on the likes of Ellen: "Her team blamed 'scheduling conflicts' for the move but rumours swept TV circles that the format of the show was deemed too relaxed for Britney to keep up the facade. Instead, she took part in a tightly scripted, albeit funny, comedy skit on late night show Jimmy Kimmel Live, where she pretended to be shot into the air in a portable toilet (again, could they not have tacked on a turd to the body double at the end? It just looks like she started perspiring a bit). Another major element of the album's PR campaign was a role on hit TV show Glee - where again she could hide behind a script. A source on set claimed she was 'out of it'. A respected US website reported: 'They led her in front of the cameras and she'd sit there like a deer in the headlights until she had to say her lines. When she was finished they'd take her by the hand and lead her away again.'"
The article then goes on to say she had not part to play in the "creation" of her heavily auto tuned album: "It appeared she had almost nothing to do with its creation other than vocals. She was like a puppet who would be told what to do. She'd go into the sound booth and basically read the lyrics from a sheet. But they'd have to stop when she kept getting it wrong."
Yeah, so none of this is surprising. Least of all the comment from The Sun's final source: "She seems to have lost a lot of her drive - and who can blame her? She has been through a hell of a lot and is coming out the other side. But rather than the pressures of putting on her pop star mask again, she should do what makes her happiest. And if you ask me, that would be just being herself, being good a mum and eating fried chicken around the pool at home."