The only bad thing about holidays (besides being duped by Aer Lingus into spending €3 on a bookmark sized sliver of pizza) is trying to settle back into work. Especially when the first thing to greet you at an airport magazine stand are pictures of pop's fallen princess strapped to a stretcher. Well, that's one way of surpassing your pregnant teen sister. As you read this, Britney has discharged herself from hospital (but not before enjoying an "hour-long chat" with Doctor Phil who decided to pay her a visit, possibly cause he's doing a Britney themed show this week) and is in hiding with her "only friend in the whole world" - British pap photographer Adnan Ghalib, who has been following her for about 18 months. That's right, Britney deems the only constant companions she's had since childhood, the paparazzi, her family now. News that Ghalib allegedly brokering a multi-million dollar deal with tabloids for the exclusive on his relationship with the singer might send Britney over the edge so we'll keep that to ourselves for the time being. Actual family and friends are sticking to the story that Britney is a deranged in favour of siege scenarios instead of a rampant substance abuser, with one telling Life and Style magazine; "Her blood test just came back, and, thank God, it was clean. There are no traces of drugs or alcohol of any kind." Thank God, she's entirely bats. Nothing at all to make her go kooky there, nope, totally clean, not a trace of anything, even sanity. Alternative (and entirely more plausible) sources however claim she had the following lurking in her system: 20 Clenbuterol diet pills, 18 herbal speed tablets, 18 Piriton anti-histamine tablets, 12 Vicodin painkillers, 10 sleeping pills, eight antacid reflux tablets, one bottle of Pepto-Bismol, two bottles of NyQuil, two bottles of OxyContin painkiller, and took a further 10 anti-hangover drugs and six Ritalin tablets which are usually used to treat Attention Deficit Disorder. OK, so there wasn't a trace of anything illegal in there but there was some alcohol after she allegedly consumed a 'Purple Monster' cocktail - a mixture of vodka, anti-flu syrup and an unspecified energy drink. Do not try that at home, kids.
