Wow, that's two of my favourite scenarios married together in a hellish fashion. A metal tube hurtling through the air being manned by a load of people puking in the cockpit, while the stewardesses turn green over the dolly cart.

The closest scenario I've had to that was being on the top deck of a 3am Nite Link with roughly ten people en route home from The Temple of Sound circa 1995. Suddenly those who'd been partaking in deviant behaviour (apart from me - I was an angel) started being violently ill in tandem. I gingerly made my way downstairs, but unfortunately the level of contributions, along with gravity and the velocity of the bus made escape impossible. I still haunts me *gnaws fist*

Anyway, Gary Barflow, apologies, Barlow was on his way to South Africa via British Airways (to shoot an M&S ad, plug, plug, plug) when the plan had to do an about turn a third into the flight. Apparently no less than 11 flight crew started feeling a little poorly.

The Sun reports: "Last night the airline rubbished rumours the 747 suffered a lack of oxygen - but refused to say if dodgy food had sparked the sickness outbreak... The pilot was three hours into the 12-hour flight when he radioed controllers to say he was returning to Heathrow. Gary told online how the jet then flew back. The Take That star - who was due to catch another flight last night - said: 'Three hours there and three hours back... Over the next 5 weeks I'm doing 15 flights. Not a good start...' A source said: 'It was like something out of the comedy Airplane. We had dinner, fell asleep then woke up expecting to see the sunrise in Africa. Next thing we opened the blinds and there was London.'"

BA confirmed: "The aircraft had to return due to several cabin crew feeling unwell. We would like to apologise for any inconvenience to customers for the delay to their journey."

Well, at least you got him barf for good. Again, apologies.