It pays to watch the news... Nargh, don't run and away, "PAHing" over your shoulder, it's not all doom, death and decline. If you watched last night's RTE news you would've seen a nuddie portrait of Brian Cowen perched on the jacks, moobs akimbo clutching a toilet roll. Let's get real "orty" about this for a second *strokes beard*... it's clearly a footnote to Cowen, suggesting an underwire bra to support his leaden moobs... hmmmm, perhaps an analogy for the current state of the economy?

Aaaanyway, some genius, who should be given their own RTE entertainment show as of immediately, stealthily hung two lewd portraits of An Taoiseach in the National Art Gallery and the Royal Hibernian Gallery in Dublin. The RHA portrait was only brought to the gallery's attention when a female pursuer requested a price. The portraits were thought to be hanging for quite some time, beside a handy explanatory notice:

"Brian Cowen, Politician, 1960-2008. This portrait, acquired uncommissioned by the National Gallery, celebrates one of the finest politicians produced by Ireland since the foundation of the state. Following a spell at the helm of the Department of Finance during a period of unprecedented prosperity, Brian Cowen inherited the office [of] Taoiseach in 2008. Balancing a public image that ranges from fantastically intelligent analytical thinker to big ignorant f**ker from Offaly, the Taoiseach proves to be a challenging subject to represent."

Thank you, anonymous artist, for making me grin like an eejit at the nine o'clock news. It was a nice break from the usual chorus of morose moaning from a country of (utterly justified) malcontents. Right, where's my oversized bag, surely the National Art Gallery won't miss the odd Louis le Broquy *leaps quietly out office window*

UPDATE: The news just gets better. RTE apologised on last night's nine o'clock news bulletin for Tadgh Enright's moobgate portrait report from the night prior. Why? For any distress it may have caused the Cowen family (his wife being first in line). Fianna Fail members have also called for the resignation of RTE Director General Cathal Goan. No wonder the country is in a raging pansh*te. If yous are that bleedin' worried about distress and appearances, lead the fecking country like you're meant to - or weren't you aware your government is currently the running joke amongst most of the Western hemisphere?

UPDATE PART II: The anonymous artist/seconday school teacher has revealed himself to be one Conor Casby. He has been questioned in Pearse Street Garda Station... *sighs*