Oh Geri. We all knew it was going to happen - particularly after you said that Katy Perry "didn't have a clue" about handling Russell Brand, and wasn't in the possession of the "patience or maturity to understand him."

And much like any bearded toddler, Brand has repaid Geri's maturity and understanding by making sure he was photographed with some bird he referred to as his "beloved Amy" at a hotel in Suffolk on Monday. She looks like a prettier version of Noel Fielding.

Actually, the poor lamb had no option but to go to those lengths after she brought him house hunting in Devon at the weekend after approximately two weeks of dating. Geri, admit it, you've been watching too much Emmerdale.

So back to this Amy bird. According to The Sun, Russell and his companion arrived at the Angel Hotel in Bury St Edmunds at 8.30pm on Monday before going upstairs together. 'Oooh' and 'Eeeerrr.'

A friend of the comic - who split from Perry in December - was overheard louldy saying the pair had known each other "very well for a long time."

Before checking into the hotel, Russell and his beloved Amy enjoyed a romantic picnic together in the grounds of the very public Bury's cathedral and also went shopping at a store promoting "crystal energy healing".

One of Russell's other handy friends with a mouth on him said: "Geri was smitten but things have petered out a tad. He isn't ready to settle down so soon after coming out of marriage, whereas Geri is probably more ready to have a relationship. She wants a [new home] and spent Saturday (01.09.12) dragging Russell around properties near Devon. It probably seemed a little much. Russell is a huge flirt and Geri won't stand for any nonsense - her friends are telling her not to get serious about him."

Bit late for that now. His worm has turned.