Is Katy Perry trying to send secret SOS signals via certain interviews? Why else would she say her relationship with Brand makes her feel like a clueless 16-year-old who was sexually spurned by her partner once she had a baby? Confusing...

Speaking with USA Today, she said: "You know when you know, and I just knew. He stopped my world. I'm wildly attracted to him. I do feel a little bit like Elvis Presley’s wife Priscilla... He's someone I can count on, a life partner. Our relationship is a complete ongoing episode of I Love Lucy". Good Lord, is she suffering the threats of physical abuse as well?!

Despite all these bizarre declarations of unbridled love, Katy reportedly enforces an hour's worth of relationship therapy onto the relationship: "Relationship counselling was Katy's idea because she was adamant they should make their relationship rock solid. As a result they both clear an hour in their schedules every day to have a conference call with a therapist, talking things over and making their bond as watertight as possible."

Talk about preempting the inevitable. How organic.