Terry cheerfully hammered two nails into his coffin during last night's broadcast. Firstly, he nominated one of the most popular housemates,Verne ("It's been bothering me for a few day. And I may seem two faced… He'd had a drink. He came up to me and he said 'you talk about history, you talk about this but I the big wide word it means that much'" *insert visual of universal finger gesture for tiny*. He then saw fit to say this, albeit while inebriated, about the voting public: "By criticising her (Michelle; Tommy and Coolio were calling her "immature"), you're insulting all the f**king thick types that vote on this show". They won't like that Terry. They won't like that at all due to the damning element of truth.

For those of you still following the circus; Michelle got kicked out last night after receiving 67% of the vote. Ulrika met this news by sobbing uncontrollably for her babies. Fret not oh booby one; your time might come tomorrow for there's another surprise eviction. I hope you'll stay, though - your departure would mean a house full of four squeakers and two boomers.

Personally, I'll miss Michelle *ducks*. Sure, she's 28 (although Tommy keeps banging on about her being 29, while Coolio jumped it up to 30 to give his point more weight) and doesn't know the meaning of "pensive", or "integrity", and thought a dozen eggs amounted to half of twelve, but there's an endearing quality about her. I'm not entirely sure how she's managed to impart that feeling to me given the constant waterworks, the (alleged) history of infidelity, not to mention the dubious story of how she met her now infamous boyfriend, Hugh (she'd been dating his best mate for six months - while still married to Andy Scott Lee…) but I like her. It's very perplexing. And a little distressing.

Last Night's Highlights: Michelle pointing out to Coolio that she'd scarfed more chilies than him... LaToya teetering off to her bedroom to repeatedly squeal "It doesn't hurt, it doesn't hurt!" after pretty much inhaling her first chili... Terry's disgust at the housemates heading off to bed one hour after all their resulting chili horsing task treats had arrived... LaToya divulging that she was a licensed police officer (thanks to that U.S. reality show which Eric Estrada is currently doing) and has put "over 200 people away" and was permitted to "carry a glock"... The resulting image of LaToya as Officer Sweetchuck from Police Academy... Michelle's face when she saw how interested LaToya was in her (alleged) relationship with Ben... Michelle openly admitting to Davina that Ben reminded her of her ex-husband, like that was a good thing. Last Night's Lowlights: Terry's self-destruct mode at the final hurdle... The weighty, lingering hug goodbye Ben gave Michelle, complete with lengthy squeeze/moaning sigh in the ear. It's the same hug I give the fellah when he's heading home after a weekend, uncertain of when we'll next see each other. I've said too much... What We Can Expect Tonight: Repeated footage of Michelle's impromptu exit/Ulrika's sobbing... Ben being scintillating... Tommy's grooming habits... Coolio saying this in the Diary Room: "I said that Ulrika - although she wants to go, she also should relish in the fact that being a middle-aged woman, that she got two 'lookers'(Lucy and Michelle) out as well as somebody that has a show on TV right now that's supposed to have eight million viewers (Tina). That would make me feel...well, I'd be walking around holding my virtual c*ck"... Coolio finding a load of tampons and rubber gloves in his bed...