Are we taken aback? Slightly. Surprised? Not really.

Ashley Cole, infamous loverat, divorceé of Cheryl and apparent footballer, has clearly gone barking up the right tree with this one, seeing as friends of Anna Kelle describe her as a nymphomaniac. Anna is a regular on MTV's The Valleys, you know, the even more trashy and classless dilution of Geordie Shore, so no surprises in what they've got in common.

The pair spent the night in London bouncing between a shisha bar and clubs, 'entangled' in each other and 'whispering into each other's ears', says The Sun. Kelle has also had three boob jobs, tried her hand at modelling, and is no stranger to reality tv, having also featured on ITV's Ladette to Lady. Evidently, she failed at that. And of course, being the classy pair they are, they met through Twitter. Where love knows no bounds.

Somewhere out there Cheryl is either throwing up with disgust or laughing her head off. We hope it's the latter.