"While the cat's away, the mice will act like twats". While Cheryl Cole was busy trekking up a mountain side in aid of Comic Relief, projectiling vomit due to severe altitude sickness, her imbecilic husband was getting himself arrested outside a charity event at a nightclub in London.
The Sun reports: "The England star, 28, was taken into custody after a night out with team-mates turned sour. Cole allegedly launched a foul-mouthed rant at cops as he left The Collection, in west London, with John Terry and Michael Mancienne... (He) was then cuffed and whisked off to a nearby police station. Premier League star Cole - who earns £82,000 a week - spent around three hours in the cells. He was held on suspicion of being drunk and disorderly before being issued with an £80 fixed penalty notice and allowed to go home."
Hey, it could've been worse; at least he didn't wind up making an inebriated spectacle of himself inside a hairdresser.
*UPDATED*: The Sun are claiming they were partially responsible for Ashley Cole kicking off... he had been chatting "initmately" with a "blonde clubber wearing a shiny blue mini-dress and a string of white pearls" when he noticed a photographer with the paper had papped their interaction. This led to his "meltdown". A source at the club said: "She was stunning and clearly very taken with Cole. They broke off from the main group and were talking quietly alone. There were no free seats at the bar so she stood directly in front of him. She placed her hands on his lap as she leaned in to speak to him, directly into his right ear... Ashley was hammered and lost it. He has been under strict instructions from Cheryl not to misbehave when out with Chelsea mates. But he let her down in a big way. She'll be furious."
Furious but hardly surprised. He is, by her own admission, juvenile. A 28-year-old juvenile. I know, maybe a few kids will calm him down!