What? It's fact. For the second year in a row an English person has won The Apprentice, and both were very deserving of the role - particularly last year. This year, Bill had a bit more of a battle on his hands, for Michelle's remaining opponent - Niamh - was an "unflappable machine" (except for when she decided people would want to eat a ready meal that resembled a firelog). Not once did we see Niamh cry, she was probably too busy mentally patting herself on the back for being "only 23."
There were two highlights for me last night. Firstly, this paused still which greeted me when I came back from answering the door (it's Will and Kieron hauling a tiled cactus about - with thier hands. Barry was probably close by with a handy cam). Secondly, the enlightening segment when Niamh and Michelle got to choose their team from some of the series characters.
Michelle, after winning the toss (stop it), had first choice. Who did she choose? Tara *gasps* Lee. Out of eight candidates, her first choice was Tara. Second on her list was Jamie, and then Dave Cashman (the 'events manager'. All this while third place runner up, Panos, was still standing in the line up. Eeeep. Niamh's first choice was Barry (thanks babes), followed by Will, then Kieron (the gambler entrusted to run the family's Munster emcompassing power tool business). Finally, when he was only one of two left to be chosen, Michelle picked Panos - mainly 'cause the alternative was Niamh Humphries, who clearly hasn't negotiated a pair of high heels since she was kicked off the show many, many weeks ago. What a gate. I must admit to rewinding her hobble across the Aviva pitch to Niamh's team for than three times... followed by umpteen rewinds of her hobbling up a back alley into a balloon shop.
Michelle's rationale for choosing her team was interesting. She basically went for Tara and Jamie because they're negative, and Dave because she wanted him - as an alleged event organiser - to provide the nuts and bolts of the proceedings (brave considering his past endeavours including blocks of sweaty Dubliner cheese). Finally, she "chose" Panos because he "grew and grew" as time passed. Quite the compliment for a third place winner.
The task at hand for the two finalists involved the hosting of an "experiential marketing gala" in the Aviva Stadium. Each team had three Irish brands to plug in an "experiential" manner. Experiential is one of those extraneous buzz words, like "guestimate" that make corporate types feel wordy. In this instance, it means "interactive". Instead of the people at the gala just listening to a presentation and then seeing Michelle Heaton tumble over a car, they took part in the proceedings - apart from Niamh's Connaught Gold interactive stand (she'd employed someone to act as a security guard to "keep people away from the Gold". Jackie deemed this "too clever", which made me feel very smug. I thought it was hilarious).
The long and the short of it is, Niamh MacDonald probably should've won considering she managed to pull the whole thing off while being surrounded by a herd of numpties (again, Barry, Will, Kieron, and the Humphries), but she didn't. The leggy lovely from Peterborough (England) whipped it from her grasp. And given Michelle's life story, she deserves it. The following comes from The Irish Times: "Ms Massey left home aged 15 because her parents were Jehovah’s Witnesses. She moved to Ireland 'spontaneously' 10 years ago with £300 after she met some people from Galway."
And, in case you're wondering what Michelle will be doing for Bill: "She is going to do e-commerce for us. We have all got to get up there now and realise that people are all going to the web for everything." Indeed they are Bill. Indeed they are.
Last Night's Highlights: The Humphries wearing a Thumbelina costume to the Gala... The Humphries helping the models get dressed in the jacks, while pontificating: "This is a bit different from your average event - this is an experimental marketing event"... The Humphries walking anywhere... The camera zooming in on Will when they Connaught Gold representative murmured "Lowfat butter, softer butter and spreadable" (the excellent editing will be missed)... Michelle lying under a laser eye machine clutching a teddy... Will and Kieron doing all the donkey work while Barry pretended to be fierce busy on his phone... Niamh, on You're Hired, saying she was "thrilled" she "never got the finger" off Bill... pondering if Bill is still being paid by Cadburies to wear purple stripped ties in the "boward room".
Last Night's Lowlights: Having to listen to the two presentations.
For photos of last night's wrap party, please follow hither link to Caught Out
