Drumroll please laddies and gentle faces - for this week's winner did not spring forth from this here Gossip section. Naaaaay, this week's winner was born in the Music News section.

Congratulations to Serge, who has won this week's €50 One For All Voucher for his highly entertaining thoughts on the origins of Scarlett Johansson.

"S.J. is stolen biological material, taken against will and formed to clones line 200 pieces total. Sign of dangerous criminal activity. Original Scarlett Galabekian future pediatrician doctor, pediatrician nurse license she obtained in 2008"

Perhaps it's an ironic remark on her role in sci-fi flick The Island (if you haven't seen it, don't bother), or perhaps Serge really is some sort of crazed conspiracy theorist (you're not, are you Serge?). Either way, there's one thing we agree on, wherever ScarJo does come from, there's no way she's a real person. You only have to look at her to know that.