Instead of knocking around to her daughter's gaff or, failing that, sending a letter by registered post - Amy's mother thought it a capital plan to submit a "heartfelt" 1,000 word open letter to the News of the World. Surely the best way for a mother to reach out to a daughter, no? The letter from Janis, which I'm assuming she wrote free of charge, asks Amy to "pick up that phone and tell me what's troubling you... want to help you, but we know that unless you want to be helped - unless you come to us - anything we tried would be in vain. So this letter is my way of making sure that you know that - that all you have to do is come to us, Amy, and we'll do everything in our power to get you well again. We were terrified after we saw those pictures of you earlier this week, wandering the freezing streets of London at dawn in your underwear. All I wanted to do was rush into those pictures and wrap you up in a big, warm blanket. Do you remember those Decembers long ago when I used to swaddle you in a thick winter coat? I used to wrap you up and give you a kiss on the nose before you went out to play in the cold." Awwww, I'd wipe away this tear attempting to career down my face, but it appears to frozen to my skin. You see, I too am currently wandering around the streets in my underwear - it's all the rage according to Karl Lagerfeld... The Sun's Gordon Smart (who I seem to have an unhealthy obsession with) had a rare moment of clarity last week, a thought devoid of freely-bouncing breasts. He said that, in 'Trainspotting', Renton's parents locked him in his bedroom and helped his withdrawal. Sadly there won't be any swaddling thick winter straight jackets for Amy; unlike 'Renton', she has mouths to feed.
