Amy Winehouse, or Amy Winehouse's reanimated corpse depending on whether or not you believe in zombism, has been forced to cancel her appearance at California's Coachella festival next month because of charges levelled at her as a result of an alleged assault in September of last year.

Winehouse's US representative has confirmed that she has been denied access to the United States because of "ongoing legal proceedings". This may prove to be a blessing in disguise for our Amy because experts are unaware of the potential repercussions of her spending a prolonged period of time in a highly-pressurised airplane cabin, fearing that it may upset the delicate balance of crack-cocaine and Buckfast that is keeping her alive.

This isn't the first time that Winehouse has faced visa problems. She was granted a last minute visa to attend the Grammy's in 2008. In the end, she said "No, no, no" and chose not to go.

See what I did there?

-John Balfe apologies for that awful Amy Winehouse pun.



(Sheena McGinley is away)