All I Know Is That There Were Rumours...

That Brad Pitt is morphing into Noel Edmonds... That Sam Lufti has been slapped with his fourth restraining order - to stay away from BritneySpears... That a judge has awarded conservatory rights of the singer's financial assets to Jamie Spears and attorney Andrew Wallet... That, upon hearing the news, Britney "created havoc" in the Resnick Neuropsychiatric wing of UCLA on Friday night... That her stay has been extended to two weeks... That Eva Mendes is in rehab "battling a substance abuse problem"... That Mika said: "I heard Amy will be recording an album of Jewish music once she gets well and I'd like to make a contribution to it. I really like her music. Think about this - me, a part-Lebanese artist working on a Jewish album - I think that's a nice statement. I'd like to make a statement some day"... That would be best achieved by shutting his mouth... That Marianne Faithfull will attend the Jameson Dublin International Film Festival screening of Irina Palm in The Screen on February 19th... That Al Pacino will play a latter day Peter Sellars in the West End production about the late comic's life... That Pete Doherty has cheated on his 19-year-old model girlfriend, Portia Freeman, with a French photographer Elise Meurisse... That he's moved her into "the spare room"... That they should bottle his pheromones... That Kylie Minogue was spotted "enjoying a romantic walk" with her ex-boyfriend, Olivier Martinez, in Paris last week... That a "friend" said: "Kylie is almost 40 and needs to be settling down"... That Jason Batemen has confirmed there's a big version of Arrested Development in the works... That the actor told E!: "I can confirm that a round of sniffing has started. Any talk is targeting a post-strike situation, of course. I think, as always, that it's a question of whether the people with the money are willing to give our leader, Mitch Hurwitz, what he deserves for his participation. And I can speak for the cast when I say our fingers are crossed"... That Scrubs star John C. McGinley has become a father... That the actor said: "Nichole (presumably his partner) was a mountain lion, a warrior in the birthing process. The birth was astonishing!"... That sentence does nothing to allay my growing tocophobia... That 44-year-old Elle Macpherson is dating JulianSchnabel's son, Vito... That he's a 21-year-old art dealer...