All I Know Is That There Were Rumours...

That a Countdown spokesperson said of Amy Winehouse: "We would love to hear from her about coming on to the show. There's no reason why she couldn't appear as a celebrity in Dictionary Corner"... One reason might be her inability to formulate coherent sentences... That Steve Jones was seen "flirting with a mystery female at V Festival"... A source said: "Steve was the target of all the girls' attention but he could not take his eyes off one sexy Asian-looking girl who was working the moves. She was really going for it, staring deeply into his eyes and playing a cat-and-mouse game with him. "At one point, she unravelled her scarf to reveal a low-cut top, which made Steve blush as he got a close look. He followed this girl back to a corner, where they were touching each other's faces"... There're more inane details but his girlfriend, Fearne Cotton, has enough to be dealing with... That David Beckham is getting his very own musical, entitled The Theater of Dreams... That songwriter, Mark Archer, came across with such PR gems as: "Beckham's story is a modern-day fairytale of heroes, villains, love, Manchester United and what it means to lead your country" and "The music is powerful, gospel-like rock to establish clearly football and Manchester United as a religion"...  That Russell Crowe will play Bill Hicks in an upcoming biopic... A source said: "Russell admires Hicks and is very keen to be involved in the project. Comedy has never been seen as Russell's strong point so this is an opportunity to change the public's perception of him. Like Hicks, Russell is very passionate and forthright with his views and isn't afraid to upset people if he thinks he’s in the right. This could be an ideal role for him"... No pressure, Russell... That Jemaine Clement from Flight of The Conchords has married his longterm girlfriend... That, contrary to the pictures doing the rounds, Paris Hilton has not had a boob job... That her increased appendages are, of course, thanks to "a prototype from her Paris Hilton 'push-up' bra line"... That the air, which is no doubt filtering from her head down to her chest area, should also be credited... That, of her lyrics which infer she enjoys rampant sex after duckar*sing a splif, Solange Knowles (AKA Beyonce's younger sister) said: "I am unapologetic; I don't write about things unless they're true. I'm a grown-ass woman and I've experienced grown-ass things"... That Jennifer Love-Hewitt said: "I wish I had been nude from the time I was 12 until I was 28. I looked great! I so wish I had listened to my mom and grandma when I was 18 and would complain about some little tiny bump or feeling bloated. I used to scoff and say, 'No, I feel fat today!' Now the joke's on me. I want to tell all young girls to walk around in bikinis all summer, because there will be that one day in your twenties when you'll eat a hamburger and actually see the hamburger on the side of your leg"... That's the day you start working on your personality, cause that's what it all boils down to in the end - decent conversation...