All I Know Is That There Were Rumours...

That Serge Pizzorno, he of Kasabian fame, found an "unexploded wartime grenade in his back garden"... That bomb-disposal experts have been around to diffuse the offending device... Back to the drawing board... That Mitch Winehouse has landed a role in a yet undisclosed "Brit flick"... That The Sun said it "centres around a one-hit wonder in the 1980s and Amy's dad is said to have jumped at the chance to take part"... Wierd that... A source speaking to the paper said: "Mitch has become almost as recognisable as Amy. He's always on hand when his daughter gets into scrapes"... That's an understatement... That it will be art imitating sh*te - he's playing a cabbie... That, of one of the character's he's devised for his new stand-up tour, Steve Coogan said: "I play a gay rent boy. He changed his name by deed poll to Keanu Reeves because that's one of the people he likes. He has very, very modern hair, wears low-cut jeans and scarves and he stares and tries to look pale and interesting. He's normally on something and is a compulsive liar"... That he should've called him Pete Doherty... That Charlie Sheen has impregnated his third woman to date - his new wife, Brooke Mueller... Sheen said: "Brooke and I are thrilled! She's the best stepmom Sam, Lola and Cassandra could ever hope for. Seeing her love and affection with those three, I know she'll be an amazing mom. Unless I bat 100 percent, perhaps a boy awaits us"... That Charlie's hair also appears to be batting 100 percent... That Dr. Dre's 20-year-old son, Andre Young Jr, was found dead at his home on Saturday... A source said: "The cause of death is currently unknown as officials await the results of a post-mortem examination… Young was said to have been out the previous night and returned home at 5.30am"... That Simon Cowell must have a thing for bitch fights; he's invited producer Kara Dioguardi to join the American Idol judging panel... That Paula Abdul was first to respond to the press, saying: "I am concerned about the audience and acceptance. Time will tell. We'll see. That's gonna be weird if it's a split decision. I'm sure Simon will get to make the final call. It takes the fun out of all the hard work I do to push those kids through"... That, by "hard work", she means arriving late, dancing at every given opportunity and slurring "I think yer just great"... That, for some reason, a statue of Bob Marley has been erected in Banatski Sokolac in Serbia... That it'll be unveiled on Saturday and locals are chuffed that it's "the first Marley statue in Europe"... That Kevin Federline and Shar Jackson are back together... That some people never learn... That, of ChristopherCiccone's tell-all book, Guy Ritchie said: "I don't make anything of the book. The poor chap wrote it out of desperation. I don't think it’d be intelligent to comment on that. I can't give too much equity in what the chap's gonna write in that book. But you'd be hard pushed to be a homophobe and marry Madonna"...