All I Know Is That There Were Rumours...

That Mr. Madonna celebrated his 40th birthday in his very own Mayfair pub, the Punchbowl, last night... That it was a quiet affair which was attended by the whole family and David Gest... Highlights included Madonna getting drunk and Gerard Butler saying: "He didn't tell anybody. I'm thinking he doesn't want anybody to know he's that old"... Did I mention Madonna got drunk?... That Cheryl Cole is being frowned upon for voting someone she knows through to X Factor boot camp... That Austin Drage was in a band tentively called 5Boyz which supported Girls Aloud on tour in the early days... That 10 million ITV viewers saw Cheryl say to Austin last week: "I don't think we've heard the best from you yet (he must've been muck on tour) and if that's not your best I'm excited to see what is. 100 per cent yes!"... A source said: "In the interests of fairness they should have admitted their friendship"... That he was going through regardless so the words "big" and "whoop" spring to mind... That last year's winner, Leon Jackson, is finally going to release a single... Again; "big" and "whoop"... That Prince's record company is suing a women who's released a 29 second clip of her son dancing to Let's Go Crazy... That former actress/lad's mag fodder, Jennifer Ellison, has been voted Rear of The Year... Jennifer said: "Every girl has a hang-up about her bum so I am very honoured and it's flattering to be crowned Rear of the Year"... She also said "Every girl has a pair of Bridget Jones knickers in her wardrobe"... That Jennifer Ellison is not the spokesperson for female kind - my hoop is a thing of hypnotic wonderment and I don't have anything resembling a circus tent in my knicker drawer... That Corrie's Ryan Thomas (AKA Jason Grimshaw) was voted the male equivalent... His acceptance speech went a little like this: "I would like to thank my mum and dad. Without them, winning this fantastic award would not be possible, it brings a new meaning to the phrase builder's bum"... That Amy Winehouse is attempting to go down the "DJ" route for the second time... Her first outing as such fell a little flat as she "baffled the crowd by merely dancing around the DJ booth while a friend controlled the music"... She is due to host her second night tonight in Camden's Monarch pub, alongside DJ Bioux... That the night is called Snakehips and "is billed as a mix of 1960s girl groups, northern soul, beat and doo-wop tunes"... That they forgot "snorting, impromptu bouts of hacking, malnutrition, crack acne (or 'crackne') and perilous amounts of black hair extensions" - PARTY!... That Victoria Beckham is (laughably) opening a restaurant in LA alongside Gordon Ramsay... That it will peddle "traditional English cuisine like bangers and mash and fish and chips"... Just cause someone happens to have an English accent and look like a sliver of sausage doesn't necessarily mean they'll be the best ambassador for a restaurant, Gordon... All Victoria's absorbed in the last 5 years is steamed fish, grapes, edamame beans, wine, grapes, steamed fish and wine.. That Nicole Kidman has topped Forbes' poll of the world's most "overpaid" actor... That Jennifer Garner came second, while Tom Cruise came third... That Lindsay Lohan said of being on set: "It's a lot of pressure, because everyone's depending on you. And your mood, when you go on set, everybody feels it. On a day when you're tired, it's important to just say good morning to everyone so the're kind of aware that it's gonna be a good day. (Freaky Friday co-star) Jamie Lee Curtis told me that"... That only works when you arrive on time; it only serves to aggravate when you land in after lunch... That Anne Hathaway has finally copped that she can be a bit of a wagon on set: "Jonathan (Demme, the director of Rachel Getting Married) altered something in the script, and I said, ‘Jonathan! Why did you change this?! It was better the other way and here's A, B, C, D, E, F, G why!' He smiled at me and said, 'Hey, Annie? Maybe instead of telling me why I'm wrong, you could ask me why I made the choice I made.' I instantly felt so ashamed. I didn't mean to be disrespectful to people, but that's exactly what I had done for years"... The highpoint of which was her stint in Ardmore studios - if rumours are to be believed...