That Dita Von Teese is starring in the most unerotic Wonderbra ad campaign ever... That Dita said: "It's a really fun film and represents a stripped down but exaggerated version of my real life. I was a little blonde growing up in a farming community, there wasn't a lot of glamour there and I felt very ordinary and plain. Lingerie is one of the things that came into play when I was starting to create my own mystique and glamour"... That Bob Geldof was so "enamoured" with "Peaches' raunchy Agent Provocateur campaign pictures, he's given the go-ahead for Pixie to pose in her pants too"... That Peaches and her husband Max Drummey have gotten matching tattoos of each others' names on their wrists... That a nail being hammered into a coffin would've been more appropriate... That Ellen DeGeneres, when interviewing Ryan Seacrest recently, said: "You're going to wait too long and get in a rut being single. It's going to be hard to open up and share your life with somebody, because you have your way of doing things. You have to let go and be with someone. You're a great guy. You're funny, you're smart You're getting old"... That Seacrest claims he's 33... That Ellen should have a word with Russell Brand, who's split with his Australian girlfriend of three months... That the confirmed sex-addict said: "I really wanted to go mental after the (VMA) awards and f**k everyone - but it is difficult when your girlfriend's in the bed... I'm single. There are so many beautiful women around. Life is fire night. Sometimes it feels like it will be eternal, but it isn't, it's fire night. One day you will not be young and beautiful"... No, one day you'll be old with some vacuous tw*t whinging in your ear about going to a club... That Noel Gallagher wants to write a sitcom with Russell Brand, saying: "I'd like to be part of a team of scriptwriters. I think I'd be good. Russell has been trying to rope me into something but at the moment I can’t commit to anything outside Oasis. But, one day. Who knows? Russell's a big posh Essex boy former junkie who’s been to the dark side and got into Hare Krishna. He's never seen a council estate. I'm a gruff Northerner who drinks Red Stripe. He finds that fascinating. He's all 'But Noel darling, don't you believe in a higher existence?' and I'm like, 'Not dressed in a sheet banging a tambourine, you big Jessie'"... That I, for one, can't wait for Noel's sitcom... That Eurovision Song Contest producers are bringing back the jury next year so someone outside of Eastern Europe might win... That Richard Wright, founding member of Pink Floyd, has died, aged 65... That Rumer Willis said of Ashton Kutcher becoming her step dad: "It was strange when mum, who is 15 years older than Ashton, started seeing him. I was 15 and he was a heartthrob to me - I had pictures of him on my wall!"... That's appropriate... That, before Daisy Lowe split with Mark Ronson, she had this to say regarding their 14/15 (some sources are saying he's 35, others 33, I dunno who to believe anymore) year age gap: "There are lots of times when I feel more mature than he is. I have never thought that age mattered. But I guess I'm a mature teenager and he's an immature adult"... That Sir Paul McCartney is risking life and limb to play "Israel's 60th anniversary"... That TMZ are saying: "A militant Muslim leader is threatening the ex-Beatle with a suicide bombing if he doesn't cancel his September 25 gig in Tel Aviv, according to the Sunday Express. Omar Bakri, a preacher, says, 'He will not be safe there. The sacrifice operatives will be waiting for them'"... That Paul should have a chat with Celine Dion's security team; she has the following going on while she performs in NYC: "Dion is demanding 11 bodyguards be on stage at all times for her show at Madison Square Garden tonight. The best part: 'At least eight' have to be on chairs able to swivel 30 degrees. She also needs to have a dentist on call at all times... Her rider runs 67 pages, says the paper, and when it comes to food, she's got to have French cherries and Bavarian figs"... That MTV's Total Request Live show is being axed after ten years of broadcasting... That Lance Bass wants to launch a gay version of Strictly Come Dancing: "I think it would be so silly that it would just overshadow everything else going on. It would just be like making fun of something. But if it was another show with all guys dancing and all girls dancing, that’s a different story. I think that’s sexy. I should pitch that"... That Daniel Radcliffe blames nerves on the size of his manhood while standing onstage, naked, in Equus: "He (Michaelangelo's David) wasn't very well endowed, because he was fighting Goliath. There was very much that effect. You tighten up like a hamster"...