All I Know Is That There Were Rumours...

That Robbie Williams has split from 29-year-old actress Ayda Field... That she looks a bit like a tranny (or, at the very least, the girl Gremlin from The Second Batch)... That's fitting... A source said: "He thought Ayda was his soulmate, so he was desperate for it to work. Unfortunately, the timing was not right for them (she wanted to party, he wanted to play golf and talk about UFOs), and after being on-off for a while they've finally decided to call it quits. Robbie is dead serious about his music. It's his number one focus"... That's news... That Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightly are teaming up to appear in the remake of (brace yourselves) Saturday Night Fever... That, instead of renaming it Saturday Sh*te Fever, producers have gone for The Fever Returns and will change the "location from Brooklyn to the mean streets of Hoddesdon in Hertfordshire"... That producers could save themselves a lot of money by casting two twigs twirling in the wind... That Jason Donovan is to star in the stage version of Priscilla Queen Of The Desert - The Musical... That he's the gayest straight man going... That Shane Filan and his wife Gillian have brought another child into the world... This one's called Patrick... That the 20-year-old model Miley Cyrus has been seen wandering around with is not her new boyfriend - he's "just a friend"... That his name is Justin Gaston and he describes himself thusly: "My style isn't like anyone else. If John Mayer was to meet Brad Paisley and they reproduced, that would be me"... That's insightful... That Courtney Love threw a Sweet 16 bash for Frances Bean (the celebspawn on the left, in case the jaw didn't give it away, is Tallulah Willis) but went with the kickier title of 'Suicidal 16'... According to reports:  "the 'RIP childhood' event, which was held at the House of Blues venue in LA, cost £160,000"... That friends of Kurt Cobain are said to be "shocked"... That Ricky Gervais said: "I get up, look in the mirror and say, 'Oh, you f**king fat b**tard'. I have to throw my clothes away every three months because I get too fat for them"... That Ne-Yo is teaming up with Michael Bolton to record a song for the latter's forthcoming album... That the track is entitled Call My Name and is "about a mistake that a woman has made in choosing between two guys, and he's letting her know, 'I'm here regardless; call my name and I'm there'"... That Nicollette Sheridan legged it off with another man - with longer hair...  That Ronnie Wood is back on the sauce since leaving rehab... That he was "spotted on a booze-filled night" with snooker professional Ronnie O'Sullivan and ortist Damien Hirst... That they were all pickled... I'll just go get my coat...