All I Know Is That There Were Rumours...

That a "self-portrait" constructed by Kate Moss is expected to go for over €50k at auction on Saturday... That the picture is drawn with lipstick and contains "Moss's own lip prints and has troubled rocker Doherty's blood stains on the canvas"... That I've got a self-portrait up for grabs if anyone's got a couple of grand handy - it's of my face smudged into a cloth canvas, alongside some drool... Some people call it a soiled pillow; I call it 'ort'... That BritneySpears' single/album release have been postponed to make them "sound as good as possible"... That Spears' sprawler of a house in LA is being sold for €5million... She "lived in the six bedroom hilltop home for less than two years - and had to leave it twice early this year for stays in a hospital psychiatric ward"... That she's leaving fond memories for the "semi-rural" area of Calabasas... That Angelina, Brad and the rest of them have left their French Chateau, which they lived in for a whole five months, for a place in Germany... That Brad is said to be filming Inglorious Bastards near Berlin... That Johnny Depp is taking the ruse of starring in films for his children a little too far - he's signed up for yet another Pirates film... He's also signed up to play The Mad Hatter in Alice in Wonderland, and Tonto in the big screen version of The Lone Ranger... Talk about being a BurtonBruckheimerDisney b*tch... That Javine Hylton has been arrested for "screaming like a loon" down the phone at her ex-manager, Camilla Storey... That BrianFerry's son, Otis, "could spend six months behind bars awaiting trial on witness nobbling charges"... The 25-year-old, who's a keen huntsman, stands accused of "robbing and assaulting hunt monitor HelenGhalmi while out with the Heythrop Hunt last November"... That Amy Winehouse was given £25k worth of designer clothes by some muppet in Harvey Nichols to wear around London during fashion week... That the singer was "violently sick" while on a night out with Mark Ronson... The Mirror reports: "when the Back To Black singer finally returned the puke-stained outfits, her little deposits had green, furry mould growing on them"... That Harvey Nics have since sent her a bill for the full £25k... That Dita Von Teese said of Winehouse: "No matter how much she breaks down, she still has the beehive of sorts and the outfits and eyeliner. When I see pictures of her I wish I could tidy her up a bit"... That The Pussycat Dolls displayed why the world should see them as "serious artists" and not strippers at all during the launch of their new album, Doll Domination, in Hollywood's Virgin Megastore this week... That Nick Hogan is getting out of jail three months early... That his passenger, John Graziano, is still in a coma... That precious few people bothered turning up to the London premiere of SimonPegg's new film, How To Lose Friends and Alienate People last night... That Kirsten Dunst has split from Justin Long, which is good news for MGMT's Andrew Vanwyngarden, who she's also said to be dating... A source said: "They are taking some time off for now. Kirsten gets bored really easily and she needs a break from men right now. They are still both friends and will hang out"... That Drew Barrymore (who Long is also meant to still be friends with) was seen horsing into GossipGirl's Ed Westwick at a Kings of Leon gig in New York... That Natalie Portman and Devandra Banhart have split up... A source said: "Natalie and Devendra will remain friends but need some space and time away (from each other)"... That John McCain spent $5,583.43 on a celebrity make-up artist to "get him camera ready for TV spots"... According to The New York Post, that's twice the amount Sarah Palin spent on the Versache jacket she wore during her acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention... That McCain was due to appear Letterman last night but cancelled at the last minute as he had to "race to the airport" in a bid to save America's chronic economy... During his show, Letterman "cut to live footage of Johnny boy getting his makeup done for an interview with Katie Couric - only a couple blocks away from Dave's studio and far from an airport"...