All I Know Is That There Were Rumours...

That Celebrity Big Brother has "landed" MP Lembit Opik... A source said: "Lembit is a brilliant signing for us. He's wacky and funny, but more importantly it's hoped he'll spill the beans on his romance with one of the Cheeky Girls. We are all convinced he won't be able to resist putting his mouth into gear about it - he seems a very outspoken character in general"... That Whitney Houston has yet to confirm if she'll be partaking, while Mutya 'I'm regretting leaving the Sugababes slightly' Buena is also pondering an offer... That The Goonies is being remade... That, of Ricky Gervais, Simon Pegg said: "He says a lot of things, that man. He said there had been no good British films since 1950. What an idiot... If you go to Los Angeles, you can get sucked into (losing weight). I've seen people go there and suddenly become rake thin because there is a slight pressure to be thin. I've also seen a lot of fat people there. He's one of the fat people in LA, yes"... And what are you, Simon? Someone resorting to cheap shots in an attempt to promote a less than stellar film, while Ricky... is starring in Ghost Town... oh... That Hollywood producers want to make a film based on the 'Primrose Hill set' - AKA Kate Moss, Rhys Ifans, Sadie Frost etc... A source said: "They worked with Russell Brand on Forgetting Sarah Marshall so have heard all about his weird and wonderful experiences in Primrose Hill. The area is full of celebs but also lots of unemployed musicians and they like the idea that everyone looks and acts like they are famous, even if they are not. This movie could be the new Notting Hill, only darker than that film"... That Hollywood producers need to get over their snowballing obsession with English pop culture, the serious dregs await... That David Walliams is talking about his sister's alleged preoccupation with dressing him up again: "My sister is a couple of years older than me and when I was younger she used to dress me up. She used to dress me up in a mauve bridesmaid's dress and a fur hat. I used to dress up in school plays and play Wonder Woman in the playground"... That Pamela Anderson said: "My exhibitionism can be a great vehicle. Here are the boobs, now let's talk about animal experimentation. You know you're getting the attention"... That, of herself, Megan Fox said: "That's the upside of dating a woman that's almost a man. She likes the same things that you like, but she has a vagina"... That Britney plans to purchase the sex tape Adnan currently has his paws on, with one source claiming: "Her lawyers have been working overtime. They've been told to do whatever it takes to stop the video making it onto the Internet"... No one wants to see that... That Miley Cyrus is being lined up to play the young Carrie Bradshaw whenever Candace Bushnell gets round to finishing The Carrie Diaries... Just when you thought the character couldn't be more annoying... That Sex And The City is "the fastest selling DVD of the year" in the UK... That Criss Angel's Cirque de Soleil magic show opened in Vegas last weekend... The show, which cost $85 million to produce, is a big pile of plop... if the following comments are anything to go by: "Everyone in the bathroom was chanting 'bullsh*t' from the urinals"... "It was absolutely awful. You can 'Believe' how bad it is - because it's terrible!"... "We were hysterical about coming. We came. It was a waste of time. The magic's not even magic"... "He broke into song. I said, 'He's singing. Now we're leaving'"... "Dude, it's a train wreck"... That Oasis are currently showcasing their next album, Dig Out Your Soul, on MySpace... That, of interviewing Harrison Ford, Lorraine Kelly said: "I felt disappointed because I loved Blade Runner and was really looking forward to meeting him. It wasn't so much that he was rude, but he was a bit grumpy. I think he was bored and made it very clear that he did not want to be there"... Weeeell... That Robin Williams will appear alongside John Cleese and Rowan Atkinson at Prince Charles' 60th birthday celebrations on November 12th... It's the first time he's done stand up in 25 years (AKA when he officially gave up on Charles)... That Ray Liotta is lending his voice to a villain on a pending episode of Spongebob Squarepants... That there are pictures of Lindsay Lohan wandering around with cuts up her arm... That Michael Lohan is insisting its self harm and attempted to organise an intervention: "The day we were to stage it she ended up having lunch with Samantha's mother instead of me and Dina. It was set up weeks before with Lindsay's lawyer, my parole officer and Dina. Everybody was on board but she didn't show"... I can't ever fathom why...