All I Know Is That There Were Rumours...

That a rogue wax head honed in the likeness of Paul McCartney has been found by a tramp, called Tony Silva... That the waxwork had been missing for some days and had a ransom of £2k... The Sun said that Tony "only realised there was a reward when he saw a story about the missing head in newspapers on which he had been sleeping. The museum waxwork (worth £10k) was left on a train by auctioneer Joby Carter, 33"... That, of Heather Mills' £24million divorce settlement, a source said: "Heather's been moaning her money isn't going as far as she thought, but she's just burning her way through it. She reckons she has spent £10 million since the divorce and still doesn't have a finished house to live in. She hasn't changed. In her eyes the whole world is against her"... That Jordan (she's left Katie in a riding stable somewhere) chose to enjoy an night on the town in this demure ensemble last night... That she bumped into Paris (the socialite and a bottle of Champers inspired by the city) on her travels... Luckily she had yet another enthusiastic "handler" in attendance... That she might be trying to get Peter Andre to break up with her... That Jodie Marsh is looking for your sperm... Marsh, who recently announced herself to be lesbian thanks to her hairdresser Nina, went on UK national radio saying she wanted a baby and was looking for donations (of baby making materials, not an actual baby)... That, while she was on air, she also "snogged" her girlfriend and "sucked" on a banana... That Jodie's still learning the difference between TV and Radio... That Guy Ritchie is dating one of the ladies from his Sherlock Holmes movie... Her name is Kelly Reilly... That Justin Timberlake said: "I'm going to go pimp myself to Leona Lewis, 'cause I think she's an amazing singer"... That Willow from Buffy is pregnant with her first child... That Daniel Craig chose to impart the following today regarding Martinis: "They're knockout. We did a proper taste test: full measure of gin, full measure of vodka and then another liqueur on top of it. I ended up on the floor... I don't know who drinks stirred cocktails anymore. I like them ice, ice, ice cold, so you have to shake them up"... Right you are, Daniel... That, of Fight Club being made into a Broadway musical, Edward Norton said: "This (rumour) has been floating around for a while. I’ve seen different notions of it. I doubt it'll be me and Brad. I know Brad can't sing. (Trent 'Nine Inch Nails') Reznor would be about the right vibe for it, I guess"... That the stage version of Dirty Dancing is now heading to Broadway, having already wowed audiences in "Australia, England and Canada"... That, of Britney's failure to attend her pointless driving license trial, her lawyer said she told him: "I can't face all those people. I don't want to deal with all the people"... The lawyer added: "She is not very strong. She is still very fragile"... That Britney has developed agoraphobia since her globally transmitted MTV VMA appearance... That Jack White has pulled out of performing his Bond tune, with Alicia Keys at the MTV "Europe" Music Awards, due to a mysterious neck injury... A source said: "Jack's still in a lot of pain. He hoped it would have cleared by now but the injury is refusing to heal. MTV are disappointed, as are Bond film chiefs. No one knows when he'll be fit enough to travel again"... I'll offer a guess and say when the press junket for Quantum of Solace is long over and he can put the whole musical debacle behind him... That Michael Madsen, AKA Mr. Blond, has been "detained by US authorities over fears for his mental health"... That the actor had been taken from his LA home after a "family member in the house became alarmed by his crazy behavior"... That, of his daughter Jamie Lee Curtis blanking him, Tony Curtis said: "Perhaps (it's because of) the abrupt way I left her mother and her growing up when I wasn't around. I have nothing to be ashamed of with Jamie. I did the best I could. I gave her my affection and caring without making a big deal about it... What am I going to do... If she can't forgive me, then get another father"... That Tony Curtis has never known unconditional love... That it's rendered him a selfish, lonesome cretin...