All I Know Is That There Were Rumours...

That either Kerry Katona has fired Max Clifford, or Max Clifford has ended his professional relationship with Kerry Katona; the press can't make up their minds which... That Leigh Francis will do an ode to Katona's This Morning interview on ITV2's Celebrity Juice tonight... That Max Drummey's band Chester French have mysteriously cancelled their UK tour "due to poor ticket sales"... That Max has most recently been seen seeking comfort in his mother's arms after his wife of two months, Peaches Geldof, made a tit out of herself during his gig recently... A source told The Mirror: "From out of nowhere, Peaches just went berserk. The group were performing when she suddenly burst on to the side of the stage and seemed to flip. After every song she was running around like a gazelle - distracting the band and making an exhibition of herself. Max looked utterly disheartened by her mad antics. At one point he was sobbing into his mum's shoulder, saying, 'I can't do it'. Afterwards, the rest of the group kicked off, banning Peaches from their dressing room. The drummer was particularly annoyed and was moaning about how wasted she looked"... That we know the reason why Grace Jones looks cracking at 60 - nightly caviar facials... That it's amazing her hoop is in such good nick considering she insists on getting "driven right up to the stage" when she attends a gig... That David Letterman is becoming increasingly irked at having to interview the brainless... When he had Lauren Conrad on recently, he suggested that she was the source of all the "drama" on The Hills, before going off on a tangent ("That raises the question, maybe you're the problem. You think? Let me give you an example from my own life. For a long time - 10, 15, 30, 40 years - I thought, 'Jeez people are idiots.' And then it occurred to me, 'Is it possible everyone's an idiot?' Maybe I'm the idiot.")... That he had this to say of Brody Jenner: "If there was no television, this guy would be living in a tree"... That Ricky Gervais has been offered his own chat show... The all-encompassing one said: "I've actually been offered a chat show in America. I'd do it but I wouldn't want it to be current affairs and I wouldn't want it to be based around people plugging stuff"... That would leave option C - Ricky Gervais talking about himself and wrapping audience members up in sellotape, for an hour, 6 nights a week... That Britney Spears' father, Jamie, has been awarded "control of her personal and financial affairs for an indefinite period"... That his brother, Road Kill Willie, has been trying to get in contact... That Shane Lynch's wife, Sheena White, has given birth to a baby girl - which they've decided to call Billie Rae... That Victoria Beckham plans to run the New York Marathon on Sunday... A source said: "It was meant to be a big secret (sure). She's been training for months with the main goal of running in the New York marathon. But, if she doesn't feel ready, she's planning to do the one in Los Angeles in February next year (09)"... That, of reprising her role for the Pretty Woman sequel, the 41-year-old actress said: "No one wants to see an old hooker! Do they?"... That, somewhere, Wayne Rooney is rubbing his knees with a wistful look in his eyes...