All I Know Is That There Were Rumours...

That those rumoured to appear on the new series of I'm a Desperate Muppet Altogether, Validate Meeeee! include Robert Kilroy-Silk (AKA the thinking man's Jeremy Kyle); Joe Swash (Mickey from Eastenders); Simon Webbe from Blue (I KNEW there was a reason he was getting his face seen at award ceremonies); Dani Behr (she used to co-present 90s youff show *whispers* The Word); some WAG called Carly Zucker; Andrew Sachs' bloody granddaughter; and Esther Rantzen... That Robin Williams is dating a friend of 23-year-old Ally Hilfiger (AKA Tommy's daughter who appeared in that reality show of hers about five years ago which spawned so much other useless swill on MTV)... That Kerry Katona's doctor has told her her nipples might fall off if she keeps smoking... Dr Stephen Hamilton said: "The risk of wound or healing problems with the skin or nipple is a risk for everyone. In smokers it can be worse because less oxygen reaches the tissue. I've never seen a nipple turn black and drop off, but it has happened. It's a good scare tactic. I told Kerry"... That someone might remind Dr Hamilton of the Hippocratic Oath... That Laura White being kicked off the X Factor has become a subject for discussion in the House of Commons, with Culture Secretary Andy Burnham saying: "Mainly we should resist that temptation to comment on editorial matters. Although the temptation is great in my case having seen the wonderful and talented Laura White very harshly voted off X Factor on Saturday"... That, of her quest for a sperm donor, Jodie Marsh (also answers to Elbow Features) said: "I'd planned to use my gay best friend, but before my nose job I had a big nose and he has a big nose, so we would have the ugliest baby in the world! We couldn't do that to a child. Now I want to find someone really good-looking instead"... That Jordan's 16-month-old daughter, Princess whatever, has been given a modeling contract by Prima Baby & Pregnancy... Jordan said: "I put a bit of lip gloss on her for the shoot, but that was just messing about and I took it straight off afterwards because I don't agree with kids her age wearing makeup... I'd like to get her and Junior into modelling. I think most parents would probably like to get their kids into modeling"... Most parents are more concerned with getting their kids into decent schools... That Will Smith's 10-year-old son, Jaden, has indeed landed the lead in the remake of The Karate Kid... Again, Ralph Macchio looked really young, but this is taking the piss... That Britney Spears' son, Jayden James, has been released from hospital after suffering from "a terrible allergic reaction. He had hives, was itchy and irritable"... That, of his stepmother Barbara Streisand flipping out over him taking on the role of George W. Bush, Josh Brolin said: "She said, 'How much are you getting paid?' I told her it was a very low fee. She said, 'Then why are you doing it?' She was furious and would not talk to me. I kind of liked that one"... That Evan Rachel Wood would like people to know she didn't dump Marilyn Manson for Mickey Rourke, her co-star in The Wrestler: "Everybody thinks we're dating and we're not. We are proud of the film we made together and I hope people will focus on the film and not get distracted by any nonsense"... That Rachel just chose to release the news of her break with Manson around the time of the AFI Festival Premiere of The Wrestler last Thursday... That Tyra Banks has a crush on Larry David... That Emilio Estevez will join his brother Charlie Sheen on screen for an episode of Two and a Half Men... That "Estevez will play a drinking buddy of his brother's character Charlie Harper"...