All I Know Is That There Were Rumours...

That Madonna plans to make her Christmas with Guy even more comfortable by flying the A-Rod over with her and the kids... The Sun says: "She has offered to fly the New York Yankees slugger first-class to London then put him in a top hotel"... Well, at least she's not insisting he stays in Ashcombe with the family... That, of the £50million payout Madonna is (insisting on?) giving Guy for their English estate and London boozer, her rep Liz Rosenberg said: "I'd assume it's one of the largest payouts ever in a divorce settlement"... This is the same person who Madonna hired to say that her marriage with Guy was still "a happy one" during the summer... That Elton John said he'd rather have his "c**k bitten off by an Alsatian" than watch the X Factor, adding: "My balls too"... That Sir Elton will perform alongside Will Young and Alexandra Burke at New Year's Eve concert in London... That Jordan said: "I'd love to do Playboy. Although I just saw Dita VonTeese's cover and it's cr*p. The woman is rank. It's not my cup of tea that she's so pale. I think the pictures look a bit Readers' Wives. It didn't look like Playboy to me"... That, when Jordan last did Playboy, she sat there like a blow up doll in a cheap lace corset, a redundant whale net top, with what looked like 'FOXY' scrawled across her navel (her hand was kind've in the way 'cause she obviously dropped it for a suggestive fiddle), whereas Dita's cover depicts an alabaster beauty bathed in half light... That Carmen Electra is now a blackjack dealer at the Playboy Club in Vegas... That Michelle Williams has denied allegations that she'll collect any awards on HeathLedger's behalf... That Fall Out Boy were forced to do a set acapella at a gig in New York's Washington Square Park after "ineffective paperwork meant the band were forbidden from playing their instruments"... That Cheryl Cole is in talks with Kate Moss about collaborating on a new Top Shop range... That, not put off by his French gig, Eddie Izzard is now planning to perform a standup show entirely in German... That Columbo's daughter, Catherine Falk, claims her 81-year-old father is suffering from Alzheimer's and "requires full-time custodial care for his health and safety" as he "can easily be deceived into transferring away property"... That Whoopi Goldberg will star in a new sci-fi series she's created solely for the Internet... That the stream will launch on Fearnet.com on January 15th and will feature "six five-minute weekly installments will follow Goldberg’s character coming to terms with her fears"... That JackBlack will do a cameo appearance on the American version of The Office... A source said: "It is unknown in what capacity Black will feature, but the episode, titled Stress Relief, will follow the workers as they try to secretly watch a bootlegged Hollywood movie at work"... That director Bobby Farrelly was arrested last week for fighting with police outside a nightclub in Vermont... That his next film is called Walter the Farting Dog and will star the Jonas Brothers...