All I Know Is That There Were Rumours...

That pictures of Madonna's new squeeze have surfaced and, my, is he a honey... That he's a model called (you'll never guess what) Jesus... The pair met during a photoshoot she was doing for W magazine at the Hotel Gloria in Rio de Janeiro last weekend and asked him to go on tour with her... That the New York Post reported: "Everyone knows they're ficando - which is a Portuguese expression that means they are kissing and doing other things but without any obligation of being faithful or getting into a relationship afterwards"... That I've a feeling he might be younger than her... That Coldplay were clocked partying in Lillies after their O2 gig last night... That, after blabbing last week about Kate Moss inviting her to "a select gathering at her Cotswolds retreat", Alexandra Burke was quietly disinvited by way of not being given any further details regarding the party... That she didn't miss much considering only half of the forty people Kate invited turned up to celebrate her boyfriend, Jamie Hince's, 40th... The Sun reports: "Kate was even left high and dry by her most loyal cronies Sadie Frost, Rhys Ifans and Davinia Taylor. A source said: 'There were more last-minute cancellations than a Pete Doherty tour. Davinia was ill but other excuses were lame. Kate spent the night apologising to Jamie for the turnout'"... That said source took ages planning what they were going to say... That, at the party, Kate announced she wasn't pregnant... That she's invited her daughter's father, Jefferson Hack, to join her, Jamie and Lila Grace for Christmas... That'll be cosy... That Johnny Depp said: "I never wanted to be the guy people looked at. The only way I could get through that time was to drink. I poisoned myself with alcohol for years"... That Robert Pattinson has chopped all his locks off... That, according to Digital Spy: "Dr. Tohme Tohme, (Michael) Jackson's 'official and sole spokesperson', released a statement saying that the singer is in 'fine health' and planning a world tour: ' The writer's wild allegations concerning Mr. Jackson's health are a total fabrication. Mr. Jackson is in fine health and finalising negotiations with a major entertainment company and television network for both a world tour and a series of specials and appearances"... That Dr. Tohme Tohme's owed some money... That Paris Hilton said: "I think whoever did this (i.e. let themselves into her house via an unlocked door) definitely has been there before. We have some suspects that I'm thinking of... You know, it's just an invasion of privacy and it's happened to me before (more times than we'd care to recall). It's really scary but they're doing a huge investigation on this and we're going to catch this person"... That, by "they're doing a huge investigation", she probably means her menagerie of animals... That Mike Skinner's girlfriend has let him impregnate her.... That Claire LeMarquand is due in April...