That I didn't have it in me to post these pictures of Lily Allen performing at G-A-Y over the weekend... The combination of the evident inebriation, coupled with a baby's romper suit and what we're being led to believe is a Pink Panther costume, quite frankly creeped the bejeesus out of me... That Lily recently said: "There's no way I can get on stage without a drink. I think I'm funnier when I've had a few"... That "the few" didn't fuel her funny bone when perched upon Jonathan Ross's couch last Friday... That Katy Perry has finally bitten back after her ex, Travis McCoy, posted a derogatory rhyme on his blog... Perry poetically announced during a gig in LA: "Girls, if you have ever dated a boy - specifically the lead singer from Gym Class Heroes - don't do it! Boys should have a heart. You know what I mean girls? Boys just want the milk, but they don't want to buy the cow"... There's not irony in that at all... That Amy Winehouse plans to record her new album in Jamaica... That mightn't be the best of destinations for various reasons... That Erykah Badu welcomed her new daughter (with rapper Jay Electronica) into the world on Sunday... That Badu has two children from two other relationships... That Velvet Revolver's Duff McKagan has become "a financial columnist for Playboy magazine"... That Goldie Hawn has announced the inevitable - she wants to star in a film with her daughter, Kate Hudson... A source said Goldie is looking for "something current and modern"... That means no remakes of her previous films... That David Walliams is dating an 18-year-old model called Lauren Budd... That Boy George is being sent money by fans during his prison stint... A source said: "It's unbelievable why so many people would want to spend their money on him. But he has been genuinely touched by people's concern for him"... That, of Demi Moore's maintenance, a source said: "Demi's body is absolutely amazing, and she can easily compete with the 20-somethings. She looks as good, if not better... The cost per year is in the six figures"... That Scarlett Johansson said: "I don't know if there is one aspect of men that I don't understand other than why they have nipples. Honestly, why? I guess it has something to do with the X chromosome. What is the function of the male nipple? Maybe we all start as androgynous creatures and then they become men?"... That it serves no function, other than to remind males that they all started life as females (true story)... That Willow from Buffy said of being pregnant: "I get tired a lot and I have pregnancy brain, which I never realised was a thing but it is. I sort of feel like a Koala bear where I'm slightly stoned all the time and I'll say the wrong word"... Of knowing her unborn baby's sex, Hannigan said: "We're just not announcing to the world. It seems a little personal"... That President Obama and Stephen Fry are "Twitter's most popular users"... That a cable company in Arizona beamed "30 seconds of hard core porn - wang and all" into the homes of their users during Sunday's Super Bowl... Comcast, a cable company in Tuscon, released this statement yesterday: "We are mortified by last evening's Super Bowl interruption and we apologize to our customers. Our initial investigation suggests this was an isolated malicious act. We are conducting a thorough investigation to determine who was behind this"... That Dita Von Teese said: "I'm just trying to bring back the original art form. Unfortunately it seems that now in America they've lost all sense of what burlesque really is... It's just something very racy for them. In America they've completely forgotten this and have a hard time coming to terms with the idea that striptease could've been a form of classic entertainment"... That Morrissey and his band mates have "stripped off" for the cover of their single Throwing My Arms Around Paris... A source said: "Morrissey has always had a mischievous sense of humour and knew this was the very last thing people would expect him to do. Some of his group took a bit of persuading but Morrissey thought it would be hilarious. It's not the most flattering of photographs in truth but Morrissey was clearly more bothered about making an impact"... That the Dalai Lama has been hospitalised in India due to a "tingling sensation in his arms"... That the wine bar Usher opened in Atlanta has had to close it's doors due to the recession... That Pat Kenny is taking a 10% wages cut... That professional plastic entity, Alicia Douvall, said: "Acting is my passion. Very few people know I'm a trained actress and it's something I'm focusing on. I'd love to be in one of the soaps - a brassy barmaid. 'Corrie' would be great - it's part of England isn't it? It would be great to be part of that"... That Julia Roberts "struggled to get noticed by Hollywood agents because they labelled her 'too trailer park' when she first started out as an actress"...