That Rihanna is now a confirmed basic... The singer has had a gun tattooed in the region of her right armpit... The tattoo artist, aptly called BangBang, posted pictures of his handiwork on MySpace saying: "I really wanted to put it here... She loved 'em. But, Cover Girl wouldn't have liked it much... and they pay the bills!"... So do her susceptible prepubescent fans... That the BBC have commissioned Pete Doherty to pen a new drama series: "Pete was meeting creative chiefs. They've commissioned him to write a Skins-style show on the dark side of the music industry. They want a pilot episode written in the next six weeks which will become a series, if he can come up with the goods. Beeb bosses think Pete has a creative streak that will produce some gritty TV. He's seen it all as a hellraising rock star, so they want his experiences written in..." Not all heroin/crack addiction leads to being headhunted by the Beeb, kids... That Madonna is due to fly to Malawi any day now to adopt either the girl she's had her eye on, Mercy, or anyone else available. The Malawian Minister for Child Development said: "We expect her over the weekend or earlier than that... but without a doubt she is coming before the end of this month"... That Keira Knightly said: "During the sex scene (for The Duchess) I was luckily fully clothed, but he (Dominic Cooper) had to wear this skin-coloured nappy. Sex scenes are never the easiest and you're meant to be very supportive of each other, but I just completely lost it. The director had to tell me, 'Pull yourself together'"... That Kym Marsh and Jack Ryder have been given a "quickie" divorce after Kym admitted to adultery with current boyfriend, Jamie Lomas... That Davinia Taylor has split with her husband of six years, Dave Gardner... That of rejoining Take That (OH, JUST BLOODY GET ON WITH IT ALREADY), Robbie Williams said: "I'm in regular contact with them and it's looking more likely by the week. The lads all seem up for it. I think it would be fun… Let's see what happens, but my head's in the right place, so the timing could be right if Gary calls. I think it would be fun. It would be good"... That Paddy McGuinness, of Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere (literally), is the latest ratings-flop-in-waiting being handed their own Sunday night show by Channel 4: "It is a huge thing for him. The (sketch) show promises to be hilarious and unlike anything else on TV. Paddy may even rope in some celeb mates for brilliant cameos"... That's NEVER been done before... That Lindsay might have to wait for that Oscar of hers; Labour Pains has gone straight to cable... It will "premiere on ABC Family in July 2009. It will be released on DVD a month later"... That Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz are to "reunite" for a romantic comedy about an "unlucky-in-love woman who falls for a man on a blind date" *SNORES*... That Wesley Snipes it to have his knuckles rapped after breaching his parole terms which involves no international travel... The "46-year-old went to an 'unauthorised' $20 million party in Dubai for the opening of the Atlantis Hotel resort"... That Jeremy Clarkson got barricaded into a portaloo at a car rally in Mallorca... That some genius "blocked his exit from the loo with a stack of tyres"... That the recording of events, for obvious reasons, has proved rather popular on YouTube... That, of Cheryl Cole, a random source said: "She has had to reconsider the whole baby plan now. She feels the time is just not right. It is really hard for her because she wants a family more than anything in the world, but she is a clever girl and won't bring a baby into this world until both her and Ash are ready. He has a lot of proving to do before then"... Like not getting arrested outside nightclubs for starters... That, of her oversized fake baps, Chantelle Houghton said: "Don't get me wrong, I love them to bits. I could just look at them all day but they're taking over my life. I have to see a physio twice a week now for the back pain they're causing me. Really, I'm left with no choice but to go down a couple of sizes." That a source said: "Houghton has previously claimed that her career ambition is to achieve more success than the late Jade Goody"... That she'll have to contract something more serious than back pain... That Britney Spears is distancing herself from two of her roadies who got into a scuffle with the police... This was posted on her blog: "Two employees of a company contracted to provide equipment for The Circus and were not employees of the singer. The Circus Starring Britney Spears tour (plug, plug, plug) does not support or tolerate this type of behavior"... That Jamie Lynne Spears has called off her wedding to Casey Aldridge: "The wedding's off. They are still in love, living together and very happy, but they have no plans to get married. Jamie Lynn has everything she wants and feels no need for a ring and piece of paper... She's happy being a real hands-on Southern mother and hopes to continue that for years to come with Casey right by her side"... That Mark Ronson said: "I called Nick (Hodgson, the drummer with The Kaiser Chiefs) a week ago and asked if he'd be interested in coming to work with Duran Duran and write a song. He's never done that before, because he only writes with Ricky (Wilson, Kaiser Chiefs frontman) and his own band, but I thought it made a lot of sense because there's a lot of Kaiser Chiefs songs I could imagine being on a Duran Duran record 25 years ago"... That Mark Ronson has lost the plot altogether... That you can see what other celebrities, like the Turner, are up to in Caught Out...
