That, of Jack Straw saying Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross should pay the BBC's Ofcom "Sachesgate" fine of £150,000, Brand said: "I demand Jack Straw pays the £7billion he squandered on the Iraq war that we didn't want"... That Brand then Tweeted: "I have decided to pay the Ofcom fine. I'll put it on my expense account. Oh no, I don't have one because I'm a citizen not a corrupt MP... What do Ofcom do with all that money? I think they spend it all on porn"... That Madonna's appeal to get Mercy has been scuppered further by the appearance of the 4-year-old's father: "The young man, James Kambewa, tells People he didn't even know his daughter was alive until her name surfaced in the Madonna adoption case... 'Now that I know [Mercy] is alive I am willing to support her', Kambewa says"... That Madonna put her breaking heart to one side and enjoyed a night on the tiles in London with Stella McCartney... That KylieMinogue's 31-year-old Spanish model boyfriend has moved in with her... That, of his new film Midgets Vs Mascots, Gary Coleman said: "It was worse than any film school project. I shouldn't be in this movie in the first place, but the mortgage keeps coming... I'm going to bash my fists right in my agent's face"... That Midgets Vs Mascots will premiere at the Tribeca Film Festival on April 25th... That Courtney Love lost a "work of art" worth $10k when a removal man "mistook it for rubbish" and thew it away... That the piece comprised of "a dead bird and a matchbox" and had "been placed on a 6ft plinth in Love's bedroom"... That, of KurtCobain's estate running out of money, Courtney Love's lawyer said: "When Mr. Cobain died in 1994, he left his enormously wealthy estate behind for the benefit of his mother, two sisters, a brother, his wife and young daughter. Many of those [involved with] the estate's coffers mismanaged, stole and outright looted it shamelessly"... That, of Chris Brown pleading "not guilty" to threatening and assaulting Rihanna in February, her father, Ronald, was quick to remark: "So what happened? Somebody else did this to Rihanna then? I just would like to see justice go in the right direction. I don't want his career to be damaged - it's damaged already. I think he's a talented guy, but everybody should have to pay. Who did it? That's the question now. If he's not guilty, who did it?"... That Chris Brown is due back in court on the 29th of this month... That Lindsay Lohan is said to be "devastated" by the news that the Ronson family are "looking into getting a restraining order"... That TMZ said: "We're also told Sam has cut off all communication with Lohan - and that Lindsay isn't handling it well. In fact, we're told people close to Lindsay are worried she 'might lash out'"... That Lindsay tracked down her ma/nager for comfort, which didn't last long: "Lindsay Lohan turned to her mother to cheer her up after being dumped by lover Samantha Ronson last week. She set off with Dina for a therapeutic shopping trip in Malibu... but they didn't get very far. They were stopped for speeding after Dina was allegedly caught driving at 65mph instead of 35mph"... That Angelina Jolie has collapsed on the set of her latest movie, Salt: "It all got too much for Angelina. She collapsed between takes, complaining of shortness of breath and dizzy spells. To be fair, it was after she'd filmed a strenuous scene in which she ran around the set, but it was still shocking to see her crumble"... That she was probably dehydrated *jazz hands... hangs head*... That Gareth Gates has procreated. His wife, Suzanne, had a baby girl yesterday called Missy... That, of Jade Goody, Michael Parkinson said: "Her death is as sad as the death of any young person, but it's not the passing of a martyr or a saint or, God help us, Princess Di... When we clear the media smokescreen from around her death, what we're left with is a woman who came to represent all that's paltry and wretched about Britain today... She was brought up on a sink estate, as a child came to know both drugs and crime, was barely educated, ignorant and puerile. Then she was projected to celebrity by Big Brother and from that point on became a media chattel to be manipulated and exploited till the day she died"... That Max Clifford responded: "I'm very sad and surprised"... That Danniella Westbrook is to return to EastEnders as Sam Mitchell: "I'm really happy to be coming back, it feels just like coming home. I'm really looking forward to working with Barbara, Steve, Sid and Patsy. I can't wait to get the scripts to see what Sam Mitchell has been up to since she was last in the Square"... That she's mostly been in prison, not getting her septum rebuilt... That you can see what other celebrities are up to in Caught Out...
