That this Bank Hollier edition of Rumours features the talents of Rachel Green; Christina Appelgate's new boobs; Jack Nicholson's tool; Paula Abdul's gullible brain; and Alexis Carrington's avoidance skills................... Steve 'purple features' McFadden has impregnated a married mother-of-three who lives in his neighbourhood... This will be his fourth child; he has three from two previous relationship... That Rachel Green (seriously, that's her name), a doctor, is now being referred to as Phil Mitchell's missus by locals... That Kelis has filed for divorce, despite being 7 months pregnant with Nas's child... That, of The Sun's claims she's to leave David and Rocco with Guy for the summer while she tours, Madonna Twittered: "What is this rubbish about me dumping my children off for the summer while Im (sic) on tour? They go where i go"... That, of her first encounter with Joan Collins, Lily Allen Twittered: "OMG, was just introduced to Joan Collins. Shook her hand and went to kiss her on the cheek. [She said:] 'I don't kiss people I don't know'. AMAZING!"... That, of her post mastectomy breasts, Christina Appelgate said: "I don't need to wear a bra. They don't hang down to my knees like they did before. They're pretty solid.. The numbness is strange. I can't feel anything (how upsetting). I don't know if they're hanging out in clothes, so I need someone to make sure they're under wraps"... That, according to his brother, Simon Cowell's first job in "the biz" involved shining Jack Nicholson's tool: "It (Elstree film studios) was only a stone's throw away from where we grew up. I well remember him saying he used to clean Jack Nicholson's axe in between takes for the most famous scenes (in The Shining). He took great pride in it, you could see your face in it, it was so shiny. It's a far cry from where he is now. I think the only thing he shines these days are his teeth"... That Sacha Baron Cohen managed to dupe Paula Abdul into thinking Bruno was a real person, and will therefore appear in Bruno: Delicious Journeys Through America for the Purpose of Making Heterosexual Males Visibly Uncomfortable in the Presence of a Gay Foreigner in a Mesh T-Shirt: "Paula was totally fooled. She bought into his character and to this day isn't aware she was fooled"... Funny that... That, of reports he recently attended rehab, Jonathan Rhys Meyers said: "I live an incredibly low key life. I think people would like to think I'm a hell of a lot naughtier than I am actually. I am actually quite a boring guy. I spent the last week-and-a-half playing bloody golf. Me, *bellows* Jonathan Rhys Meyers! If anyone saw me in those stupid golf clothes on the golf course, there would have been a different story written!"... That you can see what other celebrities are up to in Caught Out...
