That this arse-numbing edition of Rumours includes Victoria Beckham's Armani clad baps; Jennifer Garner freaking out; a simpHilton; Twilight co-stars getting it on; Kylie Minogue going on tour; Kiefer Sutherland getting into deeper doo doo; and Zachary Quinto's sticky fingers............... That Kate Moss left the Maldives early after Jamie Hince referred to her as Waynetta Slob while on holidays... A source said: "Jamie likes to tease Kate. It's all done affectionately, but sometimes he pushes things too far. That was the case on their holiday when Kate didn't take kindly to her boyfriend's wind-ups. 'Waynetta can never be bothered to do anything because she's smoking a fag'. That's something Jamie has become accustomed to with Kate"... That Victoria Beckham's been taking her kit off for money again... That Lindsay Lohan is paying the bills by dressing up as an emaciated Marilyn Monroe again... This time it's for Spanish Vogue... That Lindsay spent the night with Samantha Ronson last night after she tracked the latter down in an L.A. eatery... That, of her 15-year-old sister Ali, a random psychologist/Fox News contributor said: "You either try to outdo or you become a caretaker. The course Ali is taking appears to be more in the direction of copying than in shrinking from the cameras and the revelry... A 15-year-old should not have to be in the role or either caretaker or competitor, but she should be in a comfortable place where she can become an individual, where she can look at the world with security and choose what defines her"... That Kylie Minogue is embarking on her first U.S. tour... It starts on September 30th in Oakland California... That Twilight co-stars Kirsten Stewart and Robert Pattinson have been spotted canoodling at Sam Bradley gig in Vancouver... That Brooke Shields has denied any altercation between herself and designer Jack McCollough, which means Kiefer Sutherland just fancied headbutting someone for poops and giggles... A rep for McCollough said: "Anyone who knows Jack McCollough knows that he would not hurt a fly. All we can say at this point is that he was the victim of a vicious, violent, unprovoked assault and that the matter is in the hands of the authorities", while another witness at Monday's Model As Muse tosstravaganza after party said: "Jack walked into the party and tried to order a drink, and then the next thing he knew, he got headbutted for no identifiable reason. Jack did nothing other than walk into a party. He did not bump into Brooke. It's just puzzling"... TMZ have since confirmed that Sutherland has been charged with "misdemeanor assault"... That, of working with her husband Ben Affleck again, Jennifer Garner said: "No, no, no. It doesn't work. It would just feel so incredibly weird. I couldn't do a scene with him for all the tea in China... The rule with marriage is the less you talk about it the better. Same with my kids. I believe that they - even though the rest of the world doesn't necessarily believe this - have a right to their own privacy. Ben can take it. He doesn't care, but as far as the intricacies of our relationship and family, that's something that automatically makes me go 'Ewwww'"... That Jennifer's been having a hard time looking in the mirror since hooking up with Ben... That Paris Hilton is being sued for not promoting her film The Pledge enough, although the simphilton believes she did a cracking job: "Any chance I got, any red carpet, any press... I would just bring it up... I really, you know, did my best (like saying) 'Oh, my new sorority film, it's going to be sexy, it's going to be really hot girls'"... That, of being one of the film's producers, she said during the deposition: "I'm not sure what a producer does, but - I don't know, help get cool people in the cast"... That, when asked by the federal court who paid her bills, she said: "I don't know. I'm assuming, like, whoever pays my bills. I never ask about that stuff"... That, of Zachary Quinto/Spok, a source said the actor "couldn't train his fingers to do the 'live long and prosper' Vulcan salute" during the filming of Star Trek... The New York Post reports: "when tying rubber bands around his fingers didn't work, fed-up director J.J. Abrams 'glued Zachary's fingers together during filming'"... That Quinto said he's "desperate to return to Ireland" (he used to work in a late night cafe in Galway when living there for three months a few years back. That's where his ma's from) when speaking on Jimmy Kimmel Live on Tuesday night... That I'll be waiting at the airport, waving a welcome banner like a loon... That you can see what other celebrities are up to in Caught Out...
