That this installment of Rumours contains massive amounts of lethargy; Sacha Baron Cohen's raw hoop piece; Richard Madeley's single status; Dina Lohan's parenting skills; Simon Cowell laying down the law with Susan Boyle; and Katy Perry being a tit........................ That I'm a special kind of brain dead today... More gossip will be posted tomorrow to make up for today's piddle poor contribution... That Richard and Judy are quitting - again... The final episode of Richard and Judy's New Position - Ooo Errr will be aired on July 3rd... It was a "mutual" decision... That Richard will have his own talk show by the end of the year... That Sacha Baron Cohen burned his arse with bleach during the filming of Bruno: Delicious Journeys Through America for the Purpose of Making Heterosexual Males Visibly Uncomfortable in the Presence of a Gay Foreigner in a Mesh T-Shirt (working title courtesy of Defamer.com)... That according to The Sun: "Sacha is committed to as much realism as he can muster in his films. He'd heard that all-over hairlessness is a popular trend in the gay community, so he thought he'd bleach all his hair so it looked invisible. But it quickly turned into a disaster. Shortly after having the procedure done he felt a burning sensation and it grew steadily worse. He had a bad allergic reaction to hydrogen peroxide, which is a strong bleaching agent. It was so severe around a certain part of his anatomy that he couldn't sit down for three days. He had to make an emergency appointment with the doctors, who gave him some medication to counter the irritation. Crew members found the whole incident hilarious and it slowed down filming for a bit, but Sacha soon got over the discomfort. He has suffered no long-lasting ill effects"... That's some good PR (Bruno hits cinemas on July 10th. Expect similar stories to this in the run up to this release date)... That Susan Boyle is to appear on Oprah next week, but has been banned from singing by Simon Cowell... That BGT bosses "want to save her for her semi-final appearance on the show. They are also concerned the Scots rivals might think it will give her an unfair advantage"... That Simon Cowell's half-brother, Nicholas, is still talking about him... Here's this week's scintillating nugget: "We were both into bands like Mud and Status Quo when we were growing up... He was a very frustrated guitar player. He's got that game Guitar Hero and at night, if you go past his bedroom, you can hear it and him jumping around"... That you can hear more massively interesting titbits on Nicholas' Channel 5 documentary Simon Cowell: Where Did It All Go Right? later this month... That pictures of Natalie Cassidy haaaaammered last night are doing the rounds... That she spent most of the night bellowing "Git ATTA VIT!", "Chlooooooweeeeeeee" and Rebbeeeeccccckhaaaa!!"... That she managed to appear on This Morning, to talk about her "weight issues" a few hours later... That Katy Perry is back with Travis McCoy... That, of Lindsay Lohan dragging her 15-year-old sister around a load of parties, a source said: "There seems to be a lack of parental guidance (duuuuuuuh). Dina took Ali out of school and now all she does is hang out with Lindsay - who is back to drinking and partying hard. Ali is now wearing really skimpy outfits, and it's just sad. No one is in control. Where are children's services? Where is Dina?"... Face down in a bag of whiteness... That Russell Brand was heard getting busy with Hugh Hefner's ex, Holly Madison, in a Las Vegas hotel last weekend... That Eonline.com said: "We're talking moans, screams, the whole he/shebang"... They've both moved up in the world... That according to The New York Post: "Madonna threw a diva fit before Monday's Costume Institute Gala... Rihanna had planned to wear thigh-high, lace-up Louis Vuitton boots (for a change), 'but Madonna wanted to wear them, and insisted that nobody else could be seen or photographed in them... Madonna was being so pushy, but Rihanna was fine with it"... Because she knew 'gargantuan shoulder humps, with a twist of Bond' trump 'seen before granny whore'... That you can see what other celebrities are up to in Caught Out...
