That this post weekend (and therefore slightly brain dead) edition of Rumours includes a load of people off EastEnders; Paris Hilton's irate neighbour; Natalie Portman protesting too much; Zach Braff; Jamie Foxx doing Frank Sinatra; Sienna Miller; Mischa Barton; Cynthia Nixon's ring; and the nordy fellah off The Apprentice.................... That, of Norway winning the Eurovision, Dita Von Teese said: "Stunned and amazed that the best performances were nowhere near the top rankings! Denmark, Ukraine, Estonia? All great shows and songs. Shocking!"... That I'm stunned, amazed and shocked by how little camera time Dita got during her "performance", which mainly involved her ability to wear a corset the same width as her head... That some of you might remember Samantha Janus singing in the Eurovision in 1991... That the cast of EastEnders (namely Roxy, Whitney and Tanya) got butchered *jazz hands* at Janus's wedding to her boyfriend Mark Womack over the weekend... That WENN only have pictures of blonde Stacey and Peggy arriving, unfortunately... That Nicole and Natalie Appleton and Mel Blatt of the loooooong defunct All Saints were also in attendance... That Larry Lamb, who plays Ronnie and Roxy's father Archie and was also and Janus's wedding, has been written out of the soap for good... A source said: "After the things he's done, there isn't much more the writers can do with him. He's peaked. He's evil through and through, and even if he manages to wheedle his way back for a while, we can't make him good. It would ruin the character (not that it stopped them with Billy Mitchell). Everyone thinks Larry is great, but for storyline reasons he's got to go"... That, thankfully, Gary Hobbs and Dawn Swann also gots to go... That Jamie Foxx has been the latest actor tipped to portray Frank Sinatra in the upcoming Scorsese biopic... That it's unclear whether Foxx will white up for the role... That Zach Braff, after insisting he's finished with Scrubs, has agreed to return for a new series of six episodes to "wrap up several storylines(?!?) and hand over to a new cast line-up"... That his career in directing mustn't be as time-consuming/lucrative as Braff originally hoped... That Natalie Portman released a statement saying: "Sean Penn is a friend and colleague. The reports that we are romantically involved are completely untrue. I normally do not respond to rumors about my private life, however, this repeatedly fabricated story has forced me to do so"... That there's little romance involved with being caught fiddling with each other behind a curtain at a party... That Paris Hilton's new neighbour has offered the landlord of her house $27k a month to get her out of the property... TMZ said: "The neighbor says Hiltie is ruining his life. She's lived there a grand total of 5 days ... already cops have been called twice because of loud parties, screaming and yelling, and vandalism. The house in the Hollywood Hills had been listed at $22,000 a month. So the neighbor is willing to give the landlord $27,000 a month if Paris goes away. And get this... we're told the neighbor complained to Doug (dude from The Hills Reinhardt) yesterday about all the ruckus since Paris moved in. Doug said, 'This is what you have to expect because Paris and I are public figures'"... That Sienna Miller has split with Balthazar Getty... That the break up won't get nearly as much attention as their getting together... That Sienna's now officially moved on to Josh Hartnett... That a spokesperson for Michael Jackson as "slammed reports" that the singer is now battling skin cancer, while a spokesperson for the promoters looking after Jackson's O2 gigs, AEG, said "The concerts are going to be absolutely amazing. We have no doubts over Michael's health"... That loosely translates has "WE'RE F*****"... That Apprentice candidate, Ben Clarke, is being investigated by the RSPCA for ingesting a live goldfish at a party... That a movie starring Mischa Barton and Bruce Willis, called Assassination Of A High School President, might never get released as the film's distributors have filed for bankruptcy... That Willis doesn't feel strongly enough about the film to stump up the launch cash himself... That Cynthia Nixon has gotten engaged to her girlfriend Christine Marinoni... That, of Michelle Obama, David Bowie's model wife Iman said: "Mrs Obama is not a great beauty... but she is so interesting looking and so bright. That will always take you farther. When you're a great beauty, it's always downhill for you... If you're someone like Mrs Obama, you just get better with age"... That Iman's still clutching her shovel... That you can follow what other celebrities are up to in Caught Out...
