That this warp-speeded installment of Rumours includes the movements of Chris Pine; Terri Seymour; Homer J. Simpson; Suri Cruise; Orlando Bloom; Piers Morgan; Ringo Starr; Jack Tweed and Britney Spears............................... That everyone's banging on about Michael Jackson having to postpone his gigs, like no one knew it was inevitable... That Katie Price has now changed the alarm code to her UK home with Peter and informed him "I'll see you in court"... She then went off to hunt down Crystal Carrington for a face slapping session... That Simon Cowell's ex-girlfriend, Terri Seymour, was "attacked" by a random women at last night' American Idol final (I won't tell you who won in case you're following it on TV3)... Terri said: "It was all so sudden.... Very scary. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before... She came over to me and said, 'You're that girl from TV, right?' And I said, 'Yeah.' The next thing I know, this woman had me in a headlock and tried to choke me"... That some of the police drafted in to watch over Suri Cruise (who was in the audience with Katie - a source said: "The Cruises are terrified about kidnap threats for Suri". Insist that her face is pixelated in the hoard of pictures you permit, then!) came to Terri's rescue... That Susan Boyle's fame has escalated further; she's been made reference to in The Simpsons... In a future episode, Homer will audition for Simon Cowell, saying: "My name is Homer Simpson, I'm 39 years old and, well, I've never been kissed. My dream is to be a great singer like Susan Boyle"... Then he'll gyrate like a loon... That Audrina Patridge of The Hills has been dating Chris Pine since April... He'll learn... That Slumdog Millionaire's Rubina Ali has also had her home bulldozed in Mumbai... That Miranda Kerr has denied she's engaged to Orlando Bloom... That, after being spotted in Cannes, Myleene Klass has now been offered a movie career on top of all her bloody TV work... Movie producer Colin Steinberg said: "She has that golden age grace and glamour. We have spent months auditioning for a beautiful, confident British woman to take on this challenging role"... The film in which Colin wants her to star is about a cannibalistic "English woman who devours her boyfriend"... That Britney Spears has been photographed in the Caribbean with her agent/boyfriend Jason Trawick... That, of Ringo Starr making an elderly woman cry at the recent Chelsea Flower Show, Piers Morgan said: "The ex-Beatle apparently informed the poor woman, 'I don't sign autographs, read that on my website.' If she even knew how to use the internet, which I doubt, this lady would have found she could BUY Mr. Starr's signature there on various items of memorabilia. Ringo was always the least talented, ugliest, jammiest member of the Beatles. I think we can now safely add the words 'disgusting', 'selfish', 'greedy' and 'thoughtless' to the list too"... That Jack Tweed is seeking out a presenting career... One of his friends said the widower is "very interested in presenting things" and "doing stuff involving DJing and clubbing"... That Jack is looking forward to "getting his life back on track" after his predicted release from prison at the end of this month... That British actress Lucy Gordon, who appeared in Spiderman (she played Peter Parker's landlord's daughter), "has been found hanged from the ceiling of her Paris flat, just two days before her 29th birthday"... That you know the story with Caught Out...
