This Bank Hollier edition of Rumours will see some action from Dustin Hoffman's dungeon; Nicole Kidman's womb; Paris Hilton's brain; Girls Aloud's vocal chords; David Bowie's son; Dave Gahan's bladder; and Daniel Craig's stage debut................... That Rihanna is being "forced" to testify *sways arms aloft* in court against Chris Brown next month... Rihanna's lawyer, Donald Etra, said: "The judge advised me that there will be a subpoena for Rihanna as a witness at the preliminary hearing. She will definitely comply"... That Girls Aloud were "nervous" performing in front of Geri Halliwell and Emma Bunton who "turned up to their Wembley show"... A source said: "It was a great honour but they were worried about their voices and were asking for throat sweets"... That someone should remind them that Bunton and Halliwell have the collective vocal prowess of a mouse and a mountain goat... That Mr. Blonde (AKA Tom Sizemore) has been arrested for drug possession again... That David Bowie's son, Duncan Jones, is impressing cinematic sorts with his directorial debut starring Sam Rockwell. Rockwell plays "a lonely astronaut mining helium on the far side of the moon"... It's anyone's guess where he got his inspiration... A Rolling Stone journalist said Zowie Bowie (that's what Duncan was christened...) has "gone against the grain of sad celebrity spawn - he has made a great film"... That Will Ferrell is now producing his own cream - specifically sun lotion... A source said: "All profits from sales of the lotions will benefit the charity Cancer for College's Willpowered Scholarship Fund, which Ferrell has chosen as a worthy cause. He said of the decision: 'I've always dreamed of owning a lotion company. And I've always hated cancer'"... That Dustin Hoffman believes the answer to Sean Penn's marital woes lies in bondage... During an interview, Hoffman claimed his marriage to Lisa Gottsegan was kept fresh through "love and bondage and whips and chains"... That he then offered Penn some of his "handcuffs and chains... We'll FedEx them"... Of his relationship with his Rain Man co-star, Tom Cruise, Hoffman said: "I haven't seen him in a while. I did see them when Katie Holmes opened All My Sons on Broadway, but before that it had been a long time. You don't see people unless you're working with them...especially when you're handcuffed"... That Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig are to co-star in a Broadway show called A Steady Rain: "The story centres on two police officers from Chicago whose friendship is put to the test after their involvement in a case dealing with a domestic dispute in an impoverished neighbourhood"... That, of Doug Reinhardt's role on The Hills, Paris Hilton said: "The show is, like, so lame and fake. He doesn't even want to be a part of it. They make up relationships when they're not there, and he just thinks it's lame. I've never seen the show in my life. I have no idea what it's about. But he just thought it was cheesy"... That, of Doug's new job following her around on the set of Paris Hilton's My New BFF, she said: "He was always on set every single day, giving fun ideas. With him there, he always gave the most amazing ideas. They actually hired him as a producer to be on BFF Dubai. They loved his ideas so much"... That Alesha Dixson's been given her own chat show: "I would like the show to be like the next Tyra Banks Show. I will be completely involved with all areas of production. Outside of a normal chatshow, I would like mine to be a mixture of entertainment and politics, so my first guest - if I can get him - would be Gordon Brown"... That Nicole Kidman is pregnant... This rumour is based on her reverting to her natural hair red-hair colour, while "sporting a poochy stomach"... In which case, I'm 4 months gone... That Dave Gahan is making good progress after having a tumour removed from his bladder... That you know the story with Caught Out...
