That this petite pond of Rumours comprises of Natalie Portman being a black swan; Katie Price telling people she'll cut them up; Billy Joel feeling his age; Bruce Willis feeling the burn; and Christopher Nolan doing a bunk.................. Britney Spears is not engaged to her agent, Jason Trawick, with a source saying to People.com: "There's no truth to it at all - Britney is not engaged"... That Britney said "What's up, London?" during her gig in Manchester... An audience member said: "It was really odd. I'm not sure if she noticed as she then continued with the performance"... It's not that odd; I remember Kele from Block Party saying "It's good to be back in the UK" when playing Oxegen four years ago... That Katie Price had a great night in Ibiza, "during which she snogged two blokes, threatened to stab another clubber and branded a fan who asked for a picture ugly"... According to The Mirror: "Katie could barely stand and kept putting her sailor's cap on people's heads in the queue. But when this pretty brunette went up to say hello, she just lost the plot. Pointing at her in the face, she started saying how she was going to cut her. It was a clear reference to knives and everyone just looked at each other shell-shocked. It was sick"... That Billy Joel is splitting up with his third wife - 27-year-old Katie Lee... That Lee had been seen partying repeatedly in the company of "a dashing 36-year-old Israeli-born fashion designer" called Yigal Azrouel... A spokesperson for 60-year-old Joel said: "Their break-up has nothing to do with Yigal"... That Bruce Willis and his new wife, Emma Heming, have posed for an "S&M-themed photo shoot in the latest issue of W"... That Natalie Portman has agreed to appear in a "supernatural thriller" called Black Swan. According to The New York Post: "Black Swan centres on a New York ballerina locked into competition with a rival dancer. However, as a big performance approaches, it is unclear if the rival is a figment of Natalie's character's imagination or a supernatural apparition"... That Christopher Nolan might not direct another Batman... That means Christian Bale may not return as Bruce Wayne - he "previously expressed his unwillingness to play the role if Nolan is not involved"... That Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have "written" a book, which they claim is a "how too" guide... That Heidi said: "We co-wrote this book. It’s going to be a life-changing book to civilisation... Spencer elaborated with: "It's something that Heidi and I specialise in (talking shite?)... you know, all of our strategies and things that we have learned through the ropes of, let's say, pop culture"... Talking shite, then... That you know the story with Caught Out...

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