That Thursday's Rumours will feature RussellBrand's areolae; The Hoff partying; Jennifer Aniston's latest man fodder; FernBritton's replacement; and a review for Bruno by The Diamond Cinema Navan..................... Jordan is attempting to sing again *cowers at flashback of 2005 Eurovision attempt... passes out briefly at visual of her pregnant belly rammed into pink cat suit*... That she's signed a deal with The Outside Organisation, who also represent Amy Winehouse, Spandau Ballet... and David Bowie... That Jordan said: "I want to do more music projects, that's why I've chosen to work with Outside. In the past my management have been very UK-focused and Outside have a world vision"... Or, in this case, "hatred"... That Kylie Minogue had a hissy fit outside NYC's B Bar on Tuesday: "At some point, Kylie and Andres got separated. When Kylie found him, she slapped him in the face with a fan. Then she yelled at him for making her wait out side while he stayed inside and got another drink"... That The Hoff was spotted "partying" with Lady GaGa and Michelle Williams at London's Mo*Vida on Tuesday... A source said: "The guys half his age were so jealous of how he worked his charm"... Some women are addicted to lost causes... That Russell Brand has been turning heads (but mostly stomachs) wearing this nipple advocating ensemble in Malibu... That Robert Redford has married his girlfriend of 10 years, 51-year-old Sibylle Szaggars, in Germany... That Jennifer Aniston is now reportedly dating her The Bounty co-star (handy that, for the marketing department), Gerard Butler: "There's a definite chemistry between Jennifer and Gerard. They seem to be spending a lot of time together, even when they are not working... Let me put it this way, they're both hot and single! After they finish a scene, they stick around so they can hang out with each other. Neither is in a rush to leave"... That Aniston seems to have a thing for CameronDiaz's exes... That Mischa Barton called the police to her LA home, at 3.00pm yesterday, to "help her with a medical issue... She was then taken from her home to an undisclosed location"... That all the ambulances in LA must've been busy with other cases... That George Sampson's mother has pleaded "not guilty" to fly-tipping "16 bags of her son's fan mail"... That Holly Willoughbaps has (predictably) landed FernBritton's job on This Morning... That means you won't be able to turn on ITV around Christmas without encountering herself and her Dancing on Ice co-host Phillip Schofield... Nice to see the age-long trend of aging male stalwart and young nubile female side-kick is alive and well... That those of you who've yet to ring the Diamond Cinema Navan should do so post haste (046 9074755)... Let it ring out and then listen to the cracking endorsement for Bruno... That you know the story with Caught Out...
