That this behomoth load of Rumours features Ryan O'Neal coming on to his daughter; Peter Andre attempting to contribute to the pending Michael Jackson tribute concert on London; Cheryl Cole having a meltdown; Mischa Barton following suit; Lindsay Lohan's death wish; Matt Horne insulting the Welsh; Marky Mark getting married; Pammy and Tommy giving it yet another whorl; and Michael Douglas's son being a naughty boy............... That Jude Law met the mother of his unborn sprogling the way most people do - on the side of the road at closing time: "The actor, 36, is said to have taken Samantha Burke to a diner (classy) before they ended up at his hotel in New York. But their January fling ended within a week, say US sources. Samantha, 24, is due to give birth to a girl called Sophia on October 6"... That Samantha also happens to be a model/actress... That tickets to see Coldplay in the States are re-selling for $1... That Peter Andre has been in touch with Tito Jackson with a view to performing at Michael Jackson's O2 tribute concert... That Peter's song of choice is She's Out of My Life... That Marky Mark got married to the mother of his three children (six-year-old Ella, three-year-old Michael and 11-month-old Brendan) over the weekend... Of this relationship with Rhea, Wahlberg said: "We broke up after Ella was born. We'd been on again, off again for those few years. But we always wanted to make it work, we wanted to be together, we wanted to raise our family together. And it's been a lot of hard work and counselling, and I think that's the only way to make it work, to put in the time and effort"... That Simon Cowell has commandeered the top floor of Fountain TV studios so he can relax during the X Factor live shows. That he's only splurged £50k doing it up for himself: "It will be painted all white and kitted out with plasma TVs, a top-of-the-range sound system and a relaxation room"... Maybe he should let Cheryl Cole hang out there, given the reports she can't stop crying during filming: "Cheryl has been so tearful we've had to stop filming a few times so she could compose herself. When they finish for the day, co-judges Louis Walsh, Simon Cowell and Dannii Minogue always suggest dinner or a few drinks, but Cheryl just wants to go straight to bed. She is constantly drained"... That, according to Piers Morgan, Cowell decided to make the move during the closing stages of Britain's Got Talent: "He's suddenly moved to a different floor at Fountain Studios from Amanda Holden and I, further evidence that he now thinks he's Emperor Nero"... That a friend of Lindsay Lohan's said: "She loves Marilyn's short life and looks at all of it as glamorous, even her death. Lindsay wants to be just like Marilyn and she doesn't fear dying young"... Just as well... That, upon her release from the psych ward, Mischa Barton decided to take it easy; she went to see Daisy Lowe DJ at a Arizona Beverages and Music Unites shindig in New York over the weekend... She was then seen "having a disastrous time with a group of girls at Sant Ambroeus in the West Village. 'She was upset and talking frantically into her phone about having a stalker... Her friends were trying to console her, but she went outside and chain-smoked cigarettes"... Mischa also headed out on Sunday night, to something called the Carrera Summer Escape party... That escapism doesn't always work... That Michael Douglas's 30-year-old son, Cameron, has been busted for drugs, again (his last arrest was in 2007, when he was caught with "a syringe filled with liquid cocaine")... This time, he's been booked for "possession of methamphetamines with the intent to distribute"... That you might recognise Cameron from such films as It Runs in The Family, in which he starred alongside his father... That Ryan O'Neal said: "I had just put the casket in the hearse and I was watching it drive away when a beautiful blonde woman comes up and embraces me. I said to her: 'You have a drink on you? You have a car?' She said, 'Daddy, it's me - Tatum!' I was just trying to be funny with a strange Swedish woman and it's my daughter. It's so sick. I don't think I was supposed to be a father. Just look around at my work - they're either in jail or they should be. A couple of them I would take back"... That, after finishing filming Gavin and Stacey, Matt Horne Tweeted: "Smell ya later (or never), Cardiff. Yes, London, how I f***ing love you"... In response to the Welsh backlash, Horne retorted: "I never said anything rude about Cardiff. Is someone paranoid? Smell ya later is merely an American colloquialism for goodbye... For eff's sake. The 'or never' means I have finished filming the final series of Gavin & Stacey and have no reason to go back. I like Cardiff"... That Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee have reunited, again... They were seen "passionately kissing" at Las Vegas' Body English nightclub over the weekend... That Arnie's signed up to do another film with Tom Arnold and Cameron Crowe... Arnold said: "All I know is Jim Cameron's making it and Arnold - Mr Schwarzenegger - and I are going to be in it, and it starts shooting in 14 months, the day after Arnold stops being Governor of California. It's not going to be called True Lies II, but it might as well be. I can live with that"... That you know the story with Caught Out...
