That Jedward ('cause that's all anyone is talking about) are planning to douse Simon Cowell with something from their proton packs this coming Saturday: "Brian (Friedman, the choreographer) is working out if it is possible for Cowell to appear as a ghostly figure on stage, or whether someone can float onto the stage with a Cowell face mask on. The boys, dressed as Ghostbusters, will then exterminate the figure using lasers. The audience would love it and it might even bring a smile to the real Simon Cowell... Another idea was for Cowell to be 'slimed' but he wouldn't put up with that, and given that he is an executive producer on the show, he would veto that idea"... That, of her sister being kicked off Melrose Place (some say in order to bring back Heather Locklear. She don't come cheap, you know), Jessica Simpson Tweeted: "catching up on MP.who writes this crap?i have had bad scripts to work with,but this?thank God my sister is amazing and got you some press"... That Kelly Brook's "look at me leaving the theatre after my debut performance in the West End stage version of Calendar Girls" dress had some issues trying to contain her breasticles (specifically the undercarriage of the one on your left)... That Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin are going to co-host the Oscars in March... That Empire Online are quite excited by the prospect: "We've no idea how this new pairing will work, but frankly we're hugely excited... Both Baldwin and Martin - who are vying with each other for the Saturday Night Live guest hosting record - are extremely funny guys and, let's not be coy, frickin' legends"... That Victoria Beckham has invested in two miniature pigs for David, as an early Christmas present: "Victoria read about micro pigs and fell in love with the idea of them. Victoria did her research and ordered a pair of pedigree piggy siblings, making sure the animals came from good homes. She assured the breeder the family would offer the brothers an excellent home; the boys will be kept at the couple's Beckingham Palace mansion. She initially called them David and Elton but, of course, her husband has the final say. David absolutely loves the piglets but is more keen on Pinky and Perky - so a final decision has yet to be made. Perky Elton Beckham has quite a ring to it though"... That Pinky and Perky cost in the region of £1,400 each... That, of leaving Gucci in 2004, Tom Ford said: "I started to sink emotionally, spiritually. I became a little bit lost. It forced me to really think: Well, what am I, who am I, what am I about? It took me a bit of time to figure that out... I am a very spiritual person now," Ford said he hadn't changed completely: "Fashion is one way in which we hold ourselves together. Just because I've become spiritual doesn't mean I can't love crocodile"... That Lady GaGa was unable to eat the meal at the13th Annual ACE Awards Gala held at Cipriani, NYC, on Monday night, as she refused to remove her face lace... That, as a result, her reps were warning PR sorts "not to speak to her because Lady GaGa hasn't eaten yet"... That, instead of eating she "played with a Barbie doll placed on her table, dressing it up to look like her"... That, when collecting her "Stylemaker" award, she addressed the crowd (which comprised of Alexander Wang, Calvin Klein, and Marc Jacobs), saying, "I think we must all remember that the ultimate accessory is the condom"... And she was embarrassed over her appearance on Jonathan Ross?... That Nicky Byrne's father passed away suddenly yesterday... Nicky Sr was 60-years-old...
