That next week's X Factor theme was to be 'Dance Week' (funny that) but has now swiftly been changed to Queen week... That Jedward singing Another One Bites The Dust would be most fitting... That Jordan has agreed to partake as "stand-in" on the new series of I'm a Celebrity - for the measly sum of £350k ... A source said: "Katie decided to go for it. She loved it first time and figured it would give the public another chance to see the 'real her' - and an opportunity to claw back some good PR. She'll give everything a go if it helps her look good in front of the public. Kangaroo testicles, crocodile penis - she'll give it a whirl"... That she's accomodated worse... That Pete's not too happy: "Pete turned the programme down - he thought going back on smacked slightly of desperation... Also he's concerned about the timing of the show. Harvey has been extremely poorly and Katie will be away for a month. Who's going to look after him?"... That Amy Winehouse now wants an arse lift: "Amy loves her boobs. She can't stop touching them and showing them off to friends. She says she feels womanly again and wants to be more curvy like she used to be. She thinks by having another op and bum implants that she will achieve her dream pin-up look"... i.e. how she looked before she got famous... That Chipmunk has been given some time off after posting "suicidal thoughts" on Twitter... That Justin Timberlake has been granted a restraining order from one Karen McNeil, who was found on his property with all her belongings... That Lindsay Lohan's ex-assistant, Jenni Muro, is sending a cease and desist letter to Michael Lohan as he's now broadcasting taped conversations he had with her a year ago: "Muro - who stepped down as Lindsay's day-to-day manager last February - called TMZ a few minutes ago and said Lindsay's mercenary father has violated her privacy and the privacy of the daughter he uses as a cash register. In the tapes, Muro talks about trying to save Lindsay's life - a life that was spinning out of control. She says the tape was heavily edited and taken out of context. Muro says Michael's conduct was 'way beyond low'"... So about average, then... That Mike's interviewing Robert Pattinson tomorrow... That I'm not at all jealous...
